(Closed) Do I send thank you notes for cards?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee

If they gave you a gift of money, you send a thank you.

Post # 4
Member
2668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

It has always been my understanding that thank you cards are only sent to guests who gave you a gift, which is exactly what we did. A few of my friends have sent thank you cards to every guest who attended the wedding, but everything I’ve read has said that this is actually against etiquette (as it could be construed as fishing for a gift or pointing out that the guest didn’t give a gift).

Post # 5
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
sparklies :  I wouldn’t worry about it, then.  Thank yous are for gifts.  Like PP mentioned, it’s actually poor etiquette to send thank yous to folks who didn’t give gifts because it looks like you’re fishing.  (I’m usually meh about etiquette, but this is the one thing I do know!)

Post # 8
Member
962 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

We have 1 guest couple who have sent us a congrats & RSVP card all in one. Basically instead of replying online.. they sent us a cute card that said Congrats on your upcomimg wedding, we whish you lots of love etc….. and we are sorry that we cannot attend… No gift in card. So I was actually wondering if I am supposed to send a thank you card… then looked up some ettiquette stuff online and basically this is what we are doing:

For everyone who sends a card with gift but doesnt come to wedding we send a thank you card. 

For everyone who gives a gift at the wedding we send a thank you card.

For everyone who sends a gift before the wedding and then comes to the wedding we send a thank you card. Unless it’s just a card with no gift, then no.

No thank you cards to people who attend but dont give gift cause the reception is the thank you for attending the ceremony, so i dont need to send a thank you for attending the reception.

And for all the card that are sent from people who are not attending and if there is no gift inside… not supposed to send thank you card.

From my Understanding.. bees feel free to tell me if that is inccorect please.

Post # 9
Member
13720 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Thank you notes are for gifts, not cards or attendance. 

Post # 10
Member
13942 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Agreed with PPs.  You send thank you cards to thank people for gifts, not for cards.  You didn’t do anything wrong. 

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