(Closed) do I tell her too bad?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2010

She does sound pushy.  It sounds like she is intentionally making it difficult for you to say no. 

Reply to her e-mail and be nice but tell her you haven’t decided on a dress style yet but you will let her know.  It might help to tell her you will find a reasonably priced dress. 

Or alternatively, go find the dress you want now and simply e-mail her that this is the dress and just pretend she never said anything about any other dress.  Passive aggressive yes, but sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. 

Post # 4
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Ranch

Mmmmm…the aunts..tsk tsk tsk…I totally agree with Mrs. Chapiko. I say you let her know very nicely that you had another idea for YOUR wedding. Or, like Mrs. Chapiko said, act like you never saw her email haha

Post # 5
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree with the other gals…. let her know nicely you have planned “short, summery dresses”.  I had a similar situation but quickly pointed out that the color was “off” from my color theme 😉  Guess I had a way easier out… goodluck though and let us know what happens!

Post # 6
Member
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would just tell her its too bad and you have something else picked out for YOUR wedding… Its not your fault she is so pushy and assuming!

Post # 7
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I hate conflict so i’d probably just find cheap dresses at Ross that I liked and buy them myself, that way I wouldn’t have to worry as much.

But for normal people who can deal with conflict, I agree with the others. Just tell her you wanted summery dresses.

Post # 8
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’d buy the dresses I wanted for the flower girls.  Tell the Aunt that you didn’t want to use the dress from the other wedding, it isn’t your vision, but you didn’t want to cost her extra money, so you’re going to pick up the tab for her dress. 

Post # 9
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

why don’t you just buy the dresses yourself? you can find really cute summer dresses at any department store, marshalls, or target. my fg’s dress was $15.

Post # 10
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree, buy the dress that you want them to wear yourself. Since your aunt bought the other dress a little bigger, her daughter could still wear it elsewhere in the future.

Post # 11
Member
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Did you want her children in the wedding in the first place?  It seems like you didn’t.

I agree with PP, that you can buy her a dress.

And lastly, I think 2 is way too young to be a flower girl, she will prob have to be taken down the aisl with mommy or break into tears.  I’d get some opinons on this.

Post # 12
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

Well, if you didn’t like the dress in the first place, I would have told her that you didn’t think her kids could use it in your wedding when she was buying the dresses for the wedding back then. As it is now, maybe you can spring for both flower girls. Hopefully your budget is not majorly stressed as it is. I’m sorry. Relatives. ARGGGHHH!

Post # 13
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

So the aunt bought the dress for a DIFFERENT wedding and wants her child to wear it again at yours?

 I wouldn’t even offer to foot the bill for it personally, because the original dress wasn’t purchased specifically for YOUR wedding. I think you should just find something reasonably priced that matches your vision and let the aunt know where she can purchase it. I wouldn’t even mention the original dress. 

Post # 14
Member
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I retract that you should pay for it.  I missread your original post.  Yeah I agree with Jamaica bride.

Post # 15
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Yes, as JamaicaBride says. 

So much of wedding planning is the art of saying “no.” Just because you say no doesn’t make you ungracious. 

Post # 16
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I can see why the aunt doesn’t want to purchase another dress.  However, it is really ridiculous that she would expect her daughter to wear the same dress for your wedding.  If family peace is an issue, I would just pay for a new dress.  It sounds like your vision is much less pricey anyway.  My Flower Girl dresses came from Burlington Coat Factory.  They were $25 each.

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