(Closed) Do I tell her?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Do I ask my friend to be MOH even though she can't make it or help with the planning?
    Yes - ask her anyways! : (28 votes)
    65 %
    No - don't mention it. : (15 votes)
    35 %
  • Post # 3
    141 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I would tell her exactly what you just wrote. So she knows that she was your first choice, but that you understand that due to the baby it would be too complicated for her.

    Best of luck!

    Post # 4
    3316 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Why do you know she won’t be able to?  I went to my brother’s wedding when my first child was 3 weeks old.

    Post # 5
    2640 posts
    Sugar bee

    I’m with 2dbride.  How do you know?  The baby will be 2-3 months old when your wedding rolls around.  Even if she had a c-section, she’d probably feel well enough to go by then.  She might have to cut the evening short to take care of the baby.  But who cares?  If you want her, ask her.

    Post # 6
    6394 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I would probably ask her, but be very clear that you’re not expecting her to help with wedding tasks, and you certainly understand if she declines. 🙂

    Post # 7
    1645 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I’ll have a 7 week old and will be flying with Darling Husband and baby from NY to FL for my sister’s wedding. If she’s close enough to you for you to ask her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, then she’ll probably really try to make it. It’s totally possible if she doesn’t have complications.

    Post # 8
    2742 posts
    Sugar bee

    I agree with the previous posters. Give her the opportunity to say No. I’m sure you will be pleasantly surprised. I’ve heard of people going to weddings after giving birth within 4 weeks.

    Post # 9
    504 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I agree. Just ask her and give her the opportunity to decline before making the decision for her.

    Post # 10
    1161 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I think it would be great of you to ask her.  But you should also be realistic about the fact that she may say yes, but that newborns are unpredictable, and so there is a chance that she’d have to cancel at the last minute.  As long as you are okay with that, I’d say ask her.

    Post # 11
    73 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I voted to still ask her but if there’s another person that you are contemplating having as Maid/Matron of Honor you could just have 2. I have seen a lot of things about having a maid of honor and a matron of honor. Maybe that would work for you?

    Post # 12
    16194 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I say if you are close enough with her to want her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, then she deserves to know! She’ll choose what is best for her, and she won’t hold anything against you!

    Post # 13
    10851 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Ditto what the other girls said. She would appreciate the “hey I love you!” chat and knowing there’s no pressure either way.

    Post # 15
    1602 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Maybe she’ll appreciate her first ‘chance’ to get out into the world? I know a lot of new mothers feel house bound in the first few months, so it might be nice for her!

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