Post # 1
I just found one of my friends is pregnant and I’m super excited for her. She’s due 10 weeks before my wedding and lives across the country. She said she’d try to make it but I know she won’t be able to.
I was going to ask her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. Do I still ask her or not? I don’t want her to feel bad about not being able to make it, but maybe she’d like to know that I honor our friendship? But then if I decide to have someone else as Maid/Matron of Honor since she won’t be there – will she be offended?
I don’t plan on having any other bridesmaids – just a Maid/Matron of Honor.
Thanks for your advice!
Post # 3
I would tell her exactly what you just wrote. So she knows that she was your first choice, but that you understand that due to the baby it would be too complicated for her.
Best of luck!
Post # 4
Why do you know she won’t be able to? I went to my brother’s wedding when my first child was 3 weeks old.
Post # 5
I’m with 2dbride. How do you know? The baby will be 2-3 months old when your wedding rolls around. Even if she had a c-section, she’d probably feel well enough to go by then. She might have to cut the evening short to take care of the baby. But who cares? If you want her, ask her.
Post # 6
I would probably ask her, but be very clear that you’re not expecting her to help with wedding tasks, and you certainly understand if she declines. 🙂
Post # 7
I’ll have a 7 week old and will be flying with Darling Husband and baby from NY to FL for my sister’s wedding. If she’s close enough to you for you to ask her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, then she’ll probably really try to make it. It’s totally possible if she doesn’t have complications.
Post # 8
I agree with the previous posters. Give her the opportunity to say No. I’m sure you will be pleasantly surprised. I’ve heard of people going to weddings after giving birth within 4 weeks.
Post # 9
I agree. Just ask her and give her the opportunity to decline before making the decision for her.
Post # 10
I think it would be great of you to ask her. But you should also be realistic about the fact that she may say yes, but that newborns are unpredictable, and so there is a chance that she’d have to cancel at the last minute. As long as you are okay with that, I’d say ask her.
Post # 11
I voted to still ask her but if there’s another person that you are contemplating having as Maid/Matron of Honor you could just have 2. I have seen a lot of things about having a maid of honor and a matron of honor. Maybe that would work for you?
Post # 12
I say if you are close enough with her to want her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, then she deserves to know! She’ll choose what is best for her, and she won’t hold anything against you!
Post # 13
Ditto what the other girls said. She would appreciate the “hey I love you!” chat and knowing there’s no pressure either way.
Post # 14
Thanks everyone! When she told me she was pregnant she added that she probably wouldn’t want to leave the kid. It’s her first and I totally support her decision. I just want her standing next to me at the ceremony and laughing & having girl talk with me as I get ready – if she can make it. So I think I’ll let her know. Thanks everyone!
Post # 15
Maybe she’ll appreciate her first ‘chance’ to get out into the world? I know a lot of new mothers feel house bound in the first few months, so it might be nice for her!