(Closed) Do I tell him?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
  • poll: What should I do?
    Tell him about the ring and ask him to buy it now, and save it for when he wants to propose. : (8 votes)
    7 %
    Tell him about the ring but don't insinuate that he should buy it now. Let him decide. : (83 votes)
    77 %
    Don't tell him about the ring until he's closer to proposing, even though it won't be discounted. : (2 votes)
    2 %
    Forget about the ring and let him pick out what he wants to get for me when he's ready. : (15 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3968 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I think you should say, hey, I found a ring I REALLY LOVE and it happens to be a really great price… and give him the specifics. I looked at a million rings, and finally found one I really liked, but it was an antique, one of a kind, and I was like, “SO, I know you’re not ready yet, we’ve talked timelines, but I’ve looked at a ton of rings, I love this one, it’s the cheapest one we’ve found that I’ve liked (we are both really frugal so that was a selling point and nothing close in price has even come close to the awesomeness of this ring!) so please consider at least putting a payment on it if you’re serious :).” He did let me know that he put one payment down on it, so I know it’s definitely going to be mine, just don’t know when yet. If money is definitely a factor (and he’d be more excited to find a deal than buy a “nice” ring– I say “nice” in that some guys think the more you spend on it the more special it is or something, like a pride thing), I would say something, but don’t nag him about buying it, whatever you do! 🙂

    Post # 4
    Member
    161 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Tell him about the ring but do not put pressure on him because that could backfire on you. Good luck. Keep us posted.

    Post # 5
    Member
    804 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    If I were you, I’d point it out in a, “Hey, you know I love this ring and normally it’s 3k but it’s 2k because it’s preowned.  You don’t have to buy me a ring or propose to me anytime soon, I just thought it’s kind of cool that even the rings I’m in love with can be found for less money and don’t want you to break the bank if you ever decide to shop for one,” way.  It’s clear that you love the ring, and that it’s on sale, and sales like this can be found on rings you love, and you’re okay with a preowned ring, but you’re also being clear that there’s no pressure to buy it.

    Post # 6
    Member
    190 posts
    Blushing bee

    Honestly, I would show it to him and tell him that this is the perfect ring for you. Make it known how much you want it without pushing him to buy it.. and of course mention its on sale 😉

    Post # 7
    Member
    399 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Let the man do things his way and say nothing.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4109 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    “Tell him about the ring but don’t insinuate that he should buy it now. Let him decide” was my vote.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1595 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I fell in love with a pre-purchased ring (ring was never used in a proposal, the man decided not to propose after he bought it), and told my bf about it, how great a deal it was, and he was surprisingly really perceptive to it! He ended up buying it 2 days later, so I definitely would mention it to him.

    My bf also knew I was kind of against buying a ring from a wholesaler/retailer bc of the extreme markup (nearly 2x the as much as buying preowned, when a lot of diamonds are recycled anyway!)- there really is NO better deal than buying preowned and cutting out the middle man.

    Post # 10
    Member
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    If it was THE ring, I’d tell him. Or at least save pics so you can have a replica made.

    Post # 11
    Member
    199 posts
    Blushing bee

    I would probably just casually tell him that you found one of the rings that you like and it’s on sale and just say that you really think that one is your favorite.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1595 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @Reign14:  *Usually* a man is not okay with buying preowned b/c he doesn’t think his future Fiance would be okay with it, as many arent- so as katyelle mentioned, if this is *the one* def let him know, but if you aren’t sure, sure, sure- don’t do it!

    Post # 16
    Member
    6 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Let him surprise you. This is the one area of things wedding related that is truly up to him. My Fiance took so much pleasure in being able to pick out the ring and plan the engagement. If I had showed him rings, looked for it or given him a lot of input, it would have taken away from the excitement of what he was planning. My surprise at the ring gave him so much joy and I would have felt horrible by taking that away from him in anyway by being too involved in the process or trying to dictate what he should do.

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