Post # 1
A little backstory – this is my maternal grandparents’ last year at the house they’ve lived in for 40 years. They’ve always done Thanksgiving there. It’s kind of a big thing for them. This year, for the first time, they are sending legitimate invitations. I had already decided not to go as finances are terribly tight for me.
Then my Boyfriend or Best Friend asked if I would come with him to his hometown for Thanksgiving – he’s planning on paying for everything, and he wants me to meet his family (he’s already met my parents.) Sure, why not? We were going to go for either Thanksgiving or Christmas, and Thanksgiving make more logistical sense.
Then… there’s the inevitable conversation with mom. Oh boy.
“I’m going to California over Thanksgiving…” “What? What exactly am I supposed to tell your grandparents?” “Just tell them that the sooner I meet his family, the sooner he can propose, and the sooner you’ll get scary-smart grandkids.” “That’s… an awesome reason.”
I’m tempted to tell him about that conversation. More than “Trust me. They’re OK with it.”
Edit: I CANNOT afford to go to my grandparents, and I’m not going to ask him to pay for yet another trip this year.
Post # 3
personally i would go to my grandparents thanksgiving, since its their last one there and it means so much to them.
Post # 5
Same here. If he was willing to pay for Thanksgiving, would he be willing to pay for a Christmas visit instead?
Post # 6
I agree with the others, go to Thanksgiving at your grandparents, if he was willing to pay for California, he can pay to go to your grandparents. Your grandparents will not be around forever, enjoy the moments you can with them, California will be there next year.
Post # 7
If you want to see you grandparents, he and his family should understand that it imprtant to you. If you would rather go to his parents, talk to your grandparents personally, not through your mom, they may appreciate it more. Don’t let either side guilt you into one way or the other, do what you feel is best.
Post # 8
I have an income of $500 a month. I CAN’T afford it. I also don’t feel comfortable asking for him to pay for an additional trip to my hometown. It’s not a choice of going to my grandparents’ place or his parents’. Plus, my grandparents are likely visiting us (along with my parents) in mid-November.
Post # 9
Yeah, you’ve got to talk to everyone involved. Don’t hide this from anyone. Talk to mom, talk to your grandparents and talk to your boyfriend. All of them will understand and someone is bound to help you out. It’s the last Thanksgiving at their house, you’ll regret not being there for it. I know I would.
Post # 10
I agree with PP’s. If this is a big thing for your grandparents and especially the last Thanksgiving at their house of 4 decades, I would go to that regardless of their visit. If he’s willing to pay for you to go to Cali for T-giving, why not your hometown? If I were him, and willing to pay for ‘a trip’, I’d pay for you to go home for this if it really meant that much to your grandparents. Though it seems like its not that big a deal to you to be there for T-giving, as much as just seeing them in general.
Post # 11
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
Hm, did I misunderstand the post? I thought you were simply asking if you should tell him about the conversation, not whether or not you should go with him? Am I the only one who read it that way?
Anyways, I think it’s probably something that can be left out – personally, I’m big believer in the idea of not trying to push him into talking about weddings if he doesn’t seem ready. He doesn’t need to know what you told your mom about hurrying it along 😉
Post # 12
Cardigan, you read it right. Thank you for answering the question.
My grandparents are moving their house, their trees, and their flowers to my parents’ property ten miles down the road. It’s not like this ends family Thanksgivings. We’ll be using their kitchen to help with our wedding! And my Boyfriend or Best Friend is paying for a mutual trip to Cali this year whether it’s Thanksgiving or not. We’d both prefer to spend Christmas at OUR home, alone. Plus my grandparents have the option of visiting us in mid-November when my parents visit for my birthday (plus my grandma really wants to see my city.)
Post # 13
Agree with Cardi, and looks like from your last post that you got it figured out.
Post # 14
Yeah, I don’t think you need to tell him the details. Just say you talked to your Mom and you’re ABSOLUTELY SURE she’s okay with it.
Post # 15
I agree you don’t need to tell him the reason why you’re going. Just let him know you’re simply excited to meet his parents.
Post # 16
I’m sure whatever decision you make will be great. I hope he doesn’t make you wait much longer, bc 1 month girl-waiting time is like 6 months boy time, so hopefully whether you see his family or yours first, one month won’t make a big difference to him.