(Closed) Do I tell my family first before proposing?

posted 8 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
1106 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think it’s completely up to you! You get to decide who to tell and who not to tell! I think I would wait to tell them until afterwards if you’re thinking that they’ll think it’s “too soon”.

Good luck!!! and Congrats!!!

Post # 4
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

one thing my husband wished he had done was talk to MY parents first. we’re not at all the traditional type – but he does regret having not asked my parents for their “permission”…he thinks that would have been cool. I’m just saying – for us – that’s one thing he wishes he’d have done.

otherwise – you know you’re ready then go for it! congrats!!!!!

Post # 5
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I think you should do what you want, before or after as long as you tell them! When my Fiance proposed to me, we spent the afternoon visiting our families and telling them the news. It was very special to see the surprise and excitement on their faces. His parents had no idea, mine did because he had spoken to my dad first.

Post # 6
3252 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree with “do what you want”. If you think you should wait then wait.

Post # 7
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

If you are nervous that they will be apprehensive about the news, I would tell your parents before you propose so they can get used to the idea.  That way, when you are engaged and full of all of that new-found excitement, they can’t spoil the moment or feeling by having a look of shock/disappointment on their face when they first hear the news.  Because you know they will get over it and support you, they just might have an initial hesitation. 

Good luck and congratulations!!!!!!

Post # 8
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Do what you want, sorry if they think it’s to soon but this is for you not them!! 


Post # 9
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I saw its up to you! You are 29- an adult you should be worring about what is going to make you and ur SO happy not making your parents happy

Post # 10
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Welcome to Weddingbee!  I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to do this.  My partner told his parents after he asked me, but it was kind of a spur of the moment proposal.  He also didn’t ask for my family’s permission, but that was unique to our particular family circumstance.

Whatever you decide, I hope you have a fabulous proposal and look forward to the story!

Post # 11
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It’s definitely your decision but if you are worried about their reaction then you might want to give them a heads up lol. My fiance had told his family and spoken with my parents before he proposed and I’m really glad he did. He didn’t ask their permission exactly, it was more to make them feel included and he really considers them a 2nd family so he wanted them to be involved too.

Just make sure you can trust the people you tell to keep a secret! lol Congrats and good luck!

Post # 12
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Welcome to Weddingbee!  To answer your question, I think it completely depends on your personal family situation.  Are you close to your family and usually tell them everything?  My hubby and I aren’t super close to our parents, so when he decided to propose he didn’t tell anyone and we told them after we were engaged.  But, it also depends on how you want to propose, would it be the type of proposal where you would want the family to somehow be involved?  If so, then you would surely have to tell them.  And what about your girlfriend’s family, is she close to them and does she expect her parents to be told/asked for permission? 

Whatever you decide to do, I look forward to hearing your proposal story next month! 🙂

Post # 13
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Talk to both sets of parents. I had to tell my Fiance mom that he proposed and it was super awkward!

Post # 14
18 posts

Last week my boyfriend (the day after he bought the ring) looked at me and was like, hmmm I should probably tell my parents, huh? He is waiting to propose until he can ask my dad in person, so i think it would be  nice if he told his parents, too, but they would be just as excitef if they waited and found out when it was official!  Its completely up to you, I think!

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