(Closed) Do I upgrade?

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
202 posts
Helper bee

I think that you should get what YOU want.  If your friends are this materialistic, you should let them know that its not about them and their opinion is not needed.  Your friends are supposed to be supportive! Please do not live your life in fear of what they might say or think!

I think if you love your ring, you should rock it!

Post # 4
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

my opinion is that if you have to finance the ring in the first place, you probably shouldn’t keep adding to the debt.  Get the ring you already picked and ignore your friends’ comments.  I’m sure it’s lovely!

Post # 5
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Agree with Gator.  These don’t sound like very nice friends!  Forget what they think and get what you want and what your Boyfriend or Best Friend can afford.  A wedding is expensive enough…you don’t want to kick it off by going into debt with the engagement ring.

By the way, I have a 3/4 carat solitare and I am always getting compliments on it.  I would never dream of asking Fiance to upgrade.  I love my ring :o)

Post # 6
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

No, I would not upgrade a ring that you love just because you feel the need to impress other people. It’s your ring, as long as you’re happy that’s what matters.

Post # 7
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

You would be upgrading for the wrong reasons. Don’t try to keep up with the Joneses.

Post # 8
990 posts
Busy bee

As ejs4y8 said, don’t try to keep up with the Joneses. In my experience, it never ends up well. I wouldn’t worry about what my friends say if I were you – they shouldn’t care what YOUR ring looks like at all!

Post # 9
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My ring is a .85, and I think somewhere in the .75-1 carat area is perfect. But, Fiance did choose the quality over quantity route on my diamond. Its a D clarity, so remind yourself that while your diamond might be smaller, it might be a better diamond than your friend’s flashy bling. She might have gotten a pretty low grade diamond to be able to afford the size.

Its a give and take, but I’d agree, get what YOU like and ignore the Joneses!

Post # 10
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010 - Marie Gabrielle, Dallas

I agree with everyone else, get what you want and what makes you happy.  If the one he has picked out makes you happy, then go for it.  No need to worry about other people. 

Post # 11
41 posts

I totally understand. Sometimes friends say stuff and they don’t know how it sounds, and it hurts.

For example, I loooooove my ring and when I showed my friends (who didn’t go to graduate school forever and started working in finance world), they were all happy for me and complimented. And two of them were like, “1.5 carats is nice. This is a beautiful ring, girl, but when it’s my turn, I would want something at least 2 carats.” Um, ok. It just sounded really weird…but sometimes people just say that kind of thing without realizing how it comes off.

So, your friends may talk about how your ring isn’t THEIR dream ring. But that’s just it, it’s your dream ring 🙂

Post # 12
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’ve kind of dealt with the same thing, because my fiance focused on the quality of the stone instead of the size…and I love my ring, but I’ve heard someone make a disparaging comment about it.  They can suck it, because it’s none of their business!  I love my ring, I love that my fiance researched and went to 10 different stores to get me the best possible ring he could.  People can be really hateful, and you have to do what you and your fiance can afford, and I think you should stick with the 3/4 carat.

Good luck!

Post # 13
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

um… not the best reason to upgrade. it seems like perhaps maybe you really want the upgrade but are using your friends for an excuse?

but if you are really fine with it—why waste the money?

Post # 14
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yeah, don’t upgrade the ring just b/c you might get some negative comments. 3/4 carats is actually BIG, larger than average and you actually save a ton of money by keeping it under 1 carat. $800 is a lot of money in the grand scheme of things, you don’t want to start ‘upgrading’ things if you can’t pay cash for them.

Post # 15
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree you should get what you want, and what looks good on your hand.

If your friends are tacky enough to say something about it, I would go with something breezy but with a sting in the tail, such as ‘well, we tried on a lot of rings, but I’ve got such fine-boned hands, anything bigger than this looked really tacky and vulgar on my hand. And I love the clarity and colour of this stone.’

Post # 16
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Do you want a full carat for you? And if it is going to possible put you into debt to get one, do you think thats worth it?

Also, know that no matter what, your ring will always be judged, I always get a response from girls saying that my ring is too big or too flashy, I find this highly annoying (my ring is 1 carat and IMO just right for me) OR, girls are like “oh its thats nice,” so either way people will say what they want. I know that I am 100% happy and I’m not going to let anyone make me feel a certain way 🙂

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