Do I wait for proposal or move out?

posted 5 months ago in Proposals
Post # 16
Member
1265 posts
Bumble bee

vader123 :  all you can do is tell him these feelings. Be sincere and non accusatory (not because he doesn’t deserve accusing but because it’s best if you can have a useful conversation about it that ends in a decision and not an argument). I would ask you go somewhere neutral to talk – on a walk outside or to a coffee shop. It ensures you have a set amount of time to actually talk and you both know the purpose of going out is to have the discussion. Trying to fit in these things at home on random occasions so often leads to them being derailed. I would speak with him soon. You clearly feel crappy and unsatisfied. 

Post # 17
Member
4230 posts
Honey bee

happiekrappie :  Excellent.

vader123 :  it’s time for a come to Jesus talk where you lay everything out on the table in just the way happiekrappie stated. Dont make idle threats (we should move out), that’s not the way to get things done. The whole super speshl surprise ship has sailed. Tell him to forget it, you’re not interested in waiting any longer, he’s had plenty of time. Ideally he should propose immediately and dispense with the theatrics. If he declines to propose you will know where you stand.

And “soon” is an unacceptable answer.

Post # 18
Member
3397 posts
Sugar bee

Your focus needs to be on the long term wellbeing of your kids. A tumultuous relationship and unstable living situation are not good for them. 

Your secondary focus should be in protecting any financial interest in the house. Did/are you contributing financially to the down payment and/or mortgage? Did you see an attorney and have proper documents drafted before you did so?

You are not some single woman that can make romantic and financial decisions on a whim. Your kids and a stable home need to be your first priority. Get your act together.

Post # 19
Member
1223 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t see this ending well.

-He has the ring

-He planned on doing it on your anniversary but didn’t because…he “couldn’t find the right time”?????

-Then it turned into he was going to do it July 4th “but you argued” so scratch that, can’t do it now

These are classic excuses we see all the time.

Don’t unpack your bags in that new house, OP. I don’t thnk he wants to marry you at all

Stand up for yourself like happiekrappie said, but be ready to leave

Post # 20
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

zl27 :  

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