(Closed) Do I wait to have a wedding until I lose weight???

posted 5 years ago in Elopement
Post # 2
Member
911 posts
Busy bee

Hi there! Welcome to Weddingbee. Here is my take:

Life is way too short to put off happiness until we achieve some perfect version of ourselves. Put it this way: your fiancé wants to marry you as you are now, or you wouldn’t be planning any kind of wedding, right? Being “skinny” isn’t going to make you more worthy of marriage or more ready to be someone’s wife. And frankly, goals are good, but trying to lose a bunch of weight rapidly for something like your wedding is way less healthy long-term than making livable lifestyle changes for gradual, SUSTAINABLE weight loss over time.

I say go ahead and get married now. You will look gorgeous just as you are in your photos; a beautiful bride is YOU looking happy, getting married to your best friend. There is no template for what an “ideal bride” should look like–I don’t care what Pinterest says. Real brides in real life are all shapes and sizes, and guess what? They all look beautiful. So will you. And if your ring size changes dramatically later–so what? You can always resize your ring (or get another one ;)).

Many congratulations on your exciting new future with your fiancé!

Post # 3
Member
10282 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Don’t put your life on hold because of your weight.

I really wanted to lose weight before my wedding, it didn’t happen. My wedding was still amazing and my husband thought I looked gorgeous and even though we don’t have our pro-pics back yet, I love a lot of the pictures our guests took because I look so happy in them!

Now, after the wedding I am actually losing weight! Which is awesome and it’s okay that it’s happening after the wedding. 

So my advice is to start on your journey to beaing healthy now but don’t put the rest of your life on hold for it. Weight loss is hard and there’s so many ups and downs and you could be waiting a long time for that wedding. 

ETA: I suggest checking out Pretty Pear Bride – it’s a wedding blog for plus-sized brides. It helped me feel a lot better about my weight seeing brides that looked like me and were absolutely stunning on thier wedding days. It can get hard when all you see are skinny brides everywhere.

Post # 4
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I just wanted to send you hugs because I can imagine this is a hard position to be in and I don’t have a good answer to give you.  It sounds like you’re dealing with some really common body image issues and no magic words I could write on a message board are going to fix that – if there were I’d write them in a book and be a billionaire 😉  No, I don’t think being skinny is important, and I don’t think that you should put your life on hold waiting for your body to look the way you think it should.  But just saying that doesn’t mean a whole lot does it?

The only advice I can give you is to consider addressing your body image concerns with a counselor and consider talking with a nutritionist or medical professional to make sure that your recent weight gain isn’t a symptom of a greater problem.

Also want to mention that the human body is a freaking work of art in absolutely any size.

Post # 5
Member
911 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
jennmariee : +1

I agree that consulting with your doctor and a nutritionist about your weight gain is a really smart idea. Not only can they check that everything in your general medical picture looks the way it should, but they can also help you map out a healthier path to weight loss that lasts.

Post # 6
Member
4225 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I personally wouldn’t wait! 

Post # 7
Member
976 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

No, don’t put your life on hold until you lose weight!

I also wanted to lose weight before my wedding. Instead I gained more weight. I’m still glad that the wedding happened.

Post # 8
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Nope, don’t wait for that silly of a reason.   Stop beating yourself up we all get older and our bodies change from when we were teenagers.  

Post # 9
Member
698 posts
Busy bee

I agree with pp’s that you should not put your happimess and wedding on hold. Get married if you want to get married 🙂 In addition, I would start trying to live a healthier lifestyle. Don’t focus on losing weight, just start making some decisions that align with your long term health goals.

Post # 10
Member
1493 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
cma022 :  I think that there’s no harm in starting a healthy lifestyle right now not only to help you lose some weight but to be overall healthy. I understand that you want a winter wedding but the winter usually lasts until March, so maybe you guys can plan on a wedding at the beginning of 2017 to give you time to get into better shape so you feel good on your wedding day.

Yes, you shouldn’t put your happiness on hold to achieve a certain “look” but I feel like if you are really unhappy with your weight now, this attitude may cloud how you look back on your pictures which also wouldn’t be fair to you. My opinion is to go see a nutritionist and get yourself on a good (and helathy) diet plan and begin incorporating some exercise into your routine. Looking good is feeling good 🙂

Post # 11
Member
205 posts
Helper bee

Absolutely do not wait. I thought I would lose weight after the engagement/before the wedding. Of course that’s always the plan. I haven’t dropped a pound. I’m 3 weeks away and couldn’t be happier to marry the man I love. Living healthier should still be a part of the plan, but don’t wait on your wedding for it.

Post # 12
Member
1008 posts
Bumble bee

Don’t wait to lose weight! You can always start developing healthier habits now, but getting to some weight goal shouldn’t be a reason not to get married!

Post # 13
Member
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

First off, don’t put off your wedding just because you want to lose weight.  I was my heaviest when I got married.  I had a goal of losing 30-40lbs, but only lost 5lbs.  I still had a wonderful wedding day and do not regret or feel bad about how I looked. 

Secondly, I recommend looking at losing weight as a lifestyle change. For me, this makes losing weight a bit less daunting.  You can definitely loose 10-15lbs before December if you focus on healthier habits, so try to remain positive! 

Post # 14
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I agree with the others, don’t wait. I’m the heaviest I’ve been in ages after just having a baby and while i know I’d feel more confident if I was the same size as before, I just want to be married to my wonderful man now and I know he loves me just as much now as he did then. And so does your fiance!

Post # 15
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

If you postpone your wedding in order to lose weight, you’ll quite likely just end up putting off the actual weight loss Oh, I still have a whole year to lose weight, I’ll start tomorrow/next Monday/after Thanksgiving/New Year’s Eve etc. I’m not saying this snottily or judgmentally but as someone who would totally do this too. Instead do these 2 things: 1. make weight loss about your overall health and a re-focus to healthy eating habits, not about looking good for a certain event   2. find ways to feel good about yourself now instead of letting self-consciousness prevent you from living your life fully until you reach a certain number on the scale. Do small little things to pamper yourself to make you feel pretty, focus on positive attributes of yours that have nothing to do with your physical appearance. Good luck Bee 🙂

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