(Closed) Do I warn them?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do I warn the bride and groom, or just stay out of this?
    Tell them what SIL is planning : (27 votes)
    44 %
    Just stay out of it and hope for the best : (28 votes)
    45 %
    ETA: Try to talk to SIL about it : (7 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If I were the bride, I would certainly appreciate knowing and being given a heads up.  But I understand this is a sticky situation to be in, and I think it depends on your relationship with SIL and the bride involved.  

    Post # 4
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I’d give them a heads up.  I’d want the info if someone was planning to do that.  Seriously why didn’t your Mother-In-Law say something to her?

    Post # 5
    Member
    386 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I would stay out of this one only because it’s his family and not your side. You don’t want his sister mad at you. I would just let her be rude and if she gets told off for it then so be it.

    Post # 6
    Member
    9142 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    Stay out of it.  Not your place to say anything.  It might affect your relationship with your SIL if the bride flies off the handle and calls her directly.  For all you know the SIL may have already cleared it with the bride.  No reason to open this can of worms.  Let the SIL show up and look like an a$$ for bringing a +1 that wasn’t invited.  You already did your part by pointing out to your Mother-In-Law that it’s rude, hopefully she will say something to your SIL.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1513 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    hmmm…. i am torn. in a way it would be absolutely helpful to know before this happened at my wedding, and seriously thats straight up rude…but on the other hand 4 weeks before my wedding so i really need to stresssed out by yet another guestlist debacle and get into a huge thing about it? at least if it happens on the wedding day, i am distracted and they are the idiots with no where to sit/nothing to eat…. and if it comes out that you are the one who told will it create awkwardness between you and SIL? or Darling Husband even?

    Post # 10
    Member
    267 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    For what it’s worth, several of our guests who we did NOT give +1s to are bringing guests, and they all wrote them in on the RSVP card. So maybe your SIL let the bride know that way.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2831 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    It would be a nice thing to give them a heads up but I don’t think it’s your place. I would stay out of it.

    Post # 12
    Member
    9142 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    Not your place to say anything to the bride, especially since you’ve never met her and have no relationship with her.

    Post # 13
    Member
    909 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Stay out of it stay out of it stay out of it.

    It’s not worth the possible damage to your SIL and your relationship, or the relationship with your husband’s family in general. You already said something to your Mother-In-Law, you’ve done all you can do here. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    1562 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I wouldn’t say anything… don’t get in the middle.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1089 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Definitely NOT your place to say anything…you don’t know that they won’t find out it was you that said anything….NOT worth risking the relationship with your SIL over.

    Post # 16
    Member
    790 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    @Neetch:  Stay out of it stay out of it stay out of it.

    Ditto ditto ditto. Smile

    The topic ‘Do I warn them?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors