Post # 1
Recently, my boyfriend’s best friend got engaged. Since me and my guy have been together for over 3 years, I have gotten to know the best friend and his now fiancée pretty well. However, the bride is honestly not a very nice person and I tolerate her for the sake of my boyfriend’s friendship. I know she doesn’t have a lot of girlfriends and I have a feeling that she is going to ask me to be in her wedding party, especially since my bo is going to be the best man. I don’t really want to say yes because even though we get along face to face, I have my issues with her and she has not been very nice to me in the past. I dont want to be a hypocrite and be a bridesmaid for a bitch I complain about to my friends/boyfriend. I know shes only asking me because she has not friends of her own and I’d literally just be a prop. Also, I don’t want to go out of my way for someone who treats me like crap to begin with. Should I say yes and just suck it up because it would be the nice thing to do? Or, do I say no and if so how do I go about doing it?
Post # 2
Wait until she asks you to stress out over this, and if she does, say no. You’d be doing her a favor by declining, I wouldn’t want someone who disliked me in my bridal party.
Post # 3
“I am honored that you asked, but I am unable to be a bridesmaid. I do look forward to being a guest at your wedding.”
Post # 4
Do not say yes. It’s against your judgement and you know it. Don’t put your needs on the back burner for people that don’t genuinely care about you. You deserve better than that.
Post # 5
You’re putting the cart before the horse here, and if she asks you there is nothing wrong with saying no. If she does ask, just tell her that you’re honoured she thought of you but that it’s just not possible.
Post # 6
It’ll be easier to deal with whatever fallout there is from saying no, than to put up with her demands for possibly a year or more of wedding planning craziness. Take the pain upfront to avoid a lot more pain later on. That said, I wouldn’t be so convinced she’s going to ask you. She may have family she’s close with, you never know.
Post # 7
Putting the cart before the horse here. However, if she does ask, I think it would be a mistake for you to agree. Sounds like you will resent it big time.
Post # 8
I would need more back story on why exactly you don’t like her but my answer is no. Not because “you ain’t no fake bitch” though. One of my BM’s was made one, because she is married to a Groomsmen and it meant a lot to Fiance. IF she does ask, it may not be for whatever reason you think.
Post # 9
Be in the bridal party so you can come on here and tell us the stories 🙊
Seriously though you should probably say no, unless it would mean a lot to your bf/his best friend that you are in the party.
Post # 11
um, you literally just called her a bitch. OBVIOUSLY you don’t be her bridesmaid. That would be annoying for you and unfair to her.
Post # 13
I voted no, but not too sure about the “you ain’t no fake bitch” part. I am NOT calling you a bitch, but you are already being fake with her. If you get along with her face to face, and then you’re complaining about her behind her back, you’re being fake. It’s understandable to not like someone who is not being nice to you, but if you aren’t going to tell them that you don’t appreciate how they treat you, then don’t talk about them behind their back. This doesn’t sit right with me.
Regardless, don’t be her bridesmaid. She may not be the nicest person, but she still doesn’t deserve to have someone in her bridal party who calls her a bitch and complains about her behind her back. And you don’t deserve the drama and stress associated with being a bridesmaid for a bride who you don’t like and who doesn’t seem to like you.
You don’t need a big explanation. It is more than likely that she already knows you don’t like her. I would tell her exactly what julies1949 said.
Post # 14
I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a bridal party before, but I would NEVER do that job for someone I didn’t really like.
Seriously, for all the “just show up and wear the dress” comments, you’re going to do a lot of work and spend a lot of money if you’re a Bridesmaid or Best Man.
If she asks you, decline, tell her that you’re unable to afford it right now or something but that you are excited to attend her wedding as a guest and are very happy for her.
Post # 15
What does your bf think? Would he be OK with you saying no or would he be mortified at the idea? I know its your decision, but honestly I would prob do what was best for my bf’s friendship. It’s not really a big deal to suck it up and be a Bridesmaid or Best Man IMO, but declining could be major drama.
As long as she doesnt ask you to be Maid/Matron of Honor, THAT I would decline!