(Closed) Do it for the bridezilla?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What do I do?

    Suck it up and do it.

    you aint no fake bitch, thanks but no thanks!

  • Post # 2
    3610 posts
    Sugar bee

    Wait until she asks you to stress out over this, and if she does, say no. You’d be doing her a favor by declining, I wouldn’t want someone who disliked me in my bridal party.

    Post # 3
    47429 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    mgl90:  “I am honored that you asked, but I am unable to be a bridesmaid. I do look forward to being  a guest at your wedding.”

    Post # 4
    87 posts
    Worker bee

    Do not say yes. It’s against your judgement and you know it. Don’t put your needs on the back burner for people that don’t genuinely care about you. You deserve better than that.

    Post # 5
    2668 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    You’re putting the cart before the horse here, and if she asks you there is nothing wrong with saying no. If she does ask, just tell her that you’re honoured she thought of you but that it’s just not possible.

    Post # 6
    1887 posts
    Buzzing bee

    It’ll be easier to deal with whatever fallout there is from saying no, than to put up with her demands for possibly a year or more of wedding planning craziness. Take the pain upfront to avoid a lot more pain later on. That said, I wouldn’t be so convinced she’s going to ask you. She may have family she’s close with, you never know.

    Post # 7
    1633 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    Putting the cart before the horse here. However, if she does ask, I think it would be a mistake for you to agree. Sounds like you will resent it big time.

    Post # 8
    1066 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    I would need more back story on why exactly you don’t like her but my answer is no. Not because “you ain’t no fake bitch” though. One of my BM’s was made one, because she is married to a Groomsmen and it meant a lot to Fiance. IF she does ask, it may not be for whatever reason you think. 

    Post # 9
    1859 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    Be in the bridal party so you can come on here and tell us the stories 🙊

    Seriously though you should probably say no, unless it would mean a lot to your bf/his best friend that you are in the party. 

    Post # 10
    156 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2003

    View original reply
    julies1949:  well said!

    Post # 11
    3829 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    um, you literally just called her a bitch. OBVIOUSLY you don’t be her bridesmaid. That would be annoying for you and unfair to her.

    Post # 13
    265 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    I voted no, but not too sure about the “you ain’t no fake bitch” part. I am NOT calling you a bitch, but you are already being fake with her. If you get along with her face to face, and then you’re complaining about her behind her back, you’re being fake. It’s understandable to not like someone who is not being nice to you, but if you aren’t going to tell them that you don’t appreciate how they treat you, then don’t talk about them behind their back. This doesn’t sit right with me.

    Regardless, don’t be her bridesmaid. She may not be the nicest person, but she still doesn’t deserve to have someone in her bridal party who calls her a bitch and complains about her behind her back. And you don’t deserve the drama and stress associated with being a bridesmaid for a bride who you don’t like and who doesn’t seem to like you.

    You don’t need a big explanation. It is more than likely that she already knows you don’t like her. I would tell her exactly what julies1949 said.

    Post # 14
    1003 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2018

    I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a bridal party before, but I would NEVER do that job for someone I didn’t really like.

    Seriously, for all the “just show up and wear the dress” comments, you’re going to do a lot of work and spend a lot of money if you’re a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

    If she asks you, decline, tell her that you’re unable to afford it right now or something but that you are excited to attend her wedding as a guest and are very happy for her.

    Post # 15
    2849 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    What does your bf think? Would he be OK with you saying no or would he be mortified at the idea? I know its your decision, but honestly I would prob do what was best for my bf’s friendship. It’s not really a big deal to suck it up and be a Bridesmaid or Best Man IMO, but declining could be major drama. 

    As long as she doesnt ask you to be Maid/Matron of Honor, THAT I would decline!

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