Post # 1
I’m asking this because I like to believe men do mature somewhat as they age, but the stereotypes of “men are just children” and “boys don’t mature as quickly as girls” seem to ring true with my SO sometimes. I’ve talked to him about this, and he says “Why should I grow up? What’s wrong with being playful and liking the same stuff I liked when I was a kid?”, which wasn’t what I meant at all. He didn’t seem to get the difference between “not acting like a child” and maturing and evolving as you get older. We just moved in together, and so far it’s been great. We’re still in the “playing house” phase, and we’re having a lot of fun, but I guess I’m just worried about the future. He’s 25, but he just moved out of his parents house, so he’s still like a teenager in many ways. He’s very responsible and intelligent, but he just seems a little emotionally stunted. Did you see your SO/DI/DH evolve throughout your relationship as he aged?
Post # 3
He’s actually grown up A LOT since we started dating! We got together at 16/17 and now we’re 22. He still has moments when he acts like a kid, but honestly I wouldn’t have it any other way. I can be so serious and it’s nice to have him around to lighten the mood! It’s been really neat though to see his priorities change over the years from “I want to be in a rock band and go on tour in Amsterdam” to “I want to buy a house and have kids and raise a family.”
Post # 4
Well, we’ve only been together a year but sometimes I see in him a five-year old sweet little boy – in a good way! He’s 49, but he’s so full of life, playful, exuberant and energetic that he seems much younger than his chronological age. I hope he never grows out of that, lol.
Post # 5
I guess it depends what you mean by “grow up.” My DH is definitely a self-proclaimed man-child — he leaves a trail of mess wherever he goes (so that I can always tell where he’s been), he cannot get food from a container onto a plate without some amount of it ending up on the counter, he cannot leave me alone if he’s awake and I’m asleep because he wants me to hang out with him … but these traits are mostly cute and I just shake my head at them.
What I consider to really be “growing up” is prioritizing the future over the present, being responsible with money and career choices, thinking about the full impact of a decision before just jumping into it, etc. And in those categories, DH is definitely an adult, even if I am constantly tripping over his shoes
Post # 6
This is why I picked an older guy. My ex was incredibly immature despite being 4 years older than me. I realize some guys in their 20s have their sh*t together, but not in the way that matters to me. My guy is 14 years older than me, is still “young at heart”, but is mature in the ways that count.
Post # 7
@iarebridezilla: exactly, what do you mean by growing up?
DH, like many, is a total child. He sings and makes up ridiculous songs and does other childish things. Grabs me arse randomly and will walk behind me holding on to it.
But when it comes to the “serious” stuff he is all business. He knows how to communicate great, he is dedicated to making our marriage and future successful and knows how to save and invest. He does great at his job and has a bright career ahead of him.
So where it is important, he is mature.
Post # 8
Just to be clear, I am totally in love with his playful side and actually want him to be more playful at times. I’m mostly just trying to gage of how much your guys have matured emotionally while you were together. Did he treat important things like a child when he didn’t get his way, or did he learn to compromise, understand your feelings, etc?
Post # 9
My guy has grown up a lot in the six years we’ve been together. If anything I’m the immature one.
Post # 10
My SO is incredibly mature, as in he is responsible with his spending, in his career, owns his own home (and did at ‘young’ age). He is respectful in the relationship, and of me. He is also respectful of friends, family, etc. He will do anything for anyone, and is very unselfish of his own time. He is very much a mature, grown adult in these ways, and exactly what I would expect for myself, as I am too.
HOWEVER, he leaves dishes/clothes laying around. He gets down and wrestles with the dog, and/or teases her all the time. He plays with our friends kids, as if he were one of them. He farts, and burps, just like a lot of boys do. Just the other day I walked by him, and gently kicked me in the butt. I turned and said ‘you are a 5-year old!’, and he quickly said back ‘no…I AM A NINJA!’
It is moments like those that not only crack me up, but make me fall in love with him all over again, because well, his goofy side (of which I love) often shows thru his boyish phases! I would say I have a perfect balance 🙂
Post # 11
i dont know if he has. I think that guys generally do a lot of growing up between 20-25. BUt we have both been maturing together since we are the same age and met at 22. My friend was 26 and started dating a guy 19. All i thought was…seriously? I was damn immature at 19 i cant immagine dating a GUY at that age when i am ready to settle down.
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center
The night before he proposed, I actually wrote in a journal that I thought the reason we weren’t engaged yet was because he was too immature and didn’t want to grow up! Horrible, and I definitely ate my words the next day.
I think we have both matured quite a bit and found ourselves while together. When we first met, aside from being incredibly nervous around each other, neither of us really knew what we were looking for or where the other would fit into our lives. Now, though, we are both feeling more secure in who we are as individuals and have learned trust and intimacy. Honestly, I think I ended up maturing the most, as he was my first REAL relationship. Plus he has 2.5 years on me, so maybe that helps!
Post # 13
He’s much more mature than I am in several aspects, like finances and grown up life things. I have never had to deal with any of them. But he rarely plans anything and flies by the seat of his pants. Bleh.
We balance each other out perfectly for the most part. But its really true about that for the most part.
Post # 14
Yes, they grow up. My guy is definitely a grown-up. He actually finds those sterotypes reallllly offensive.
Post # 15