Do men fall in love faster/harder than women?

posted 2 months ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Do men fall in love faster/harder than women?
    Yes : (7 votes)
    16 %
    No : (38 votes)
    84 %
    See comment : (0 votes)
  • Post # 16
    Member
    540 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    lifeisbeeutiful :  Obviously my experiences aren’t everyones. lol. There isn’t one rule for everyone. But your story about an ex is literally the first time I have ever heard of that happening from either my experience or my friends etc. Are you two still together? 

     

    Post # 17
    Member
    359 posts
    Helper bee

    I said no. But I feel like it really depends. 

    From my experience… guys that had little to no dating experience fell FAST for me.

    Whereas the men that had experience and went through heart break they didn’t fall fast and 99.9% of the time… even if a decade had past… couldn’t get over their ex still or “didn’t want anything serious”… So I would be on my own in the feelings department. Those are total jerks. I FEEL like I was just getting payback for THEIR exes breaking their hearts. They broke up with me in heartless messed up ways… like their exes did them. Just my experience after dating a LOT.

    My husband was a little different. He and I probably “fell” at the same time but he was not willing to say it outright. And would beat around the bush with constantly telling me “I really care for you”. We both had walls up I feel.

     

    Post # 21
    Member
    547 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2005

    My husband definitely fell in love faster than me. I was a bit gun shy from a previous abusive marriage. He came right out and said he loved me after several months of dating. I was a little scared of my own feelings, but I knew he was the one. It just took me a little bit longer to utter the words.

    We have been together 18 years and married for almost 15. My husband is the most amazingly kind, generous, and loving man I have ever known. 

    I have been through two bouts of cancer (receiving treatment right now for it) and he has been my rock. He has held me, been with me through every awful treatment, even brain surgery where I might lose my sight (first time around). He has stuck with me through it all and has never waivered in his devotion to me. 

    Just this morning, he told me that Im the most beautiful woman in the world to him, and if my hair never comes back, well Im still the most beautiful bald woman in the world. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    416 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

     

    motogal :  I can’t read the actual article, as only the abstract is available, but this kind of study should already set off alarm bells. In the first place, they interviewed college students only. Okay, so immediately, we don’t get to generate any kind of overarching notions about “all men” since this is only one subset of men as far as age, education level, and a few other things singular to college men. Secondly, it makes no mention of sexuality — did they work with only straight men? Gay men? Trans people? What? Does sexuality allow for differences in the behavior? Thirdly, they’ve clearly received MERELY anecdotal evidence from men living in this century. Well, I can’t make any claims about men who lived 100 or 1000 years ago from this. And from which colleges did they interview these men? One from every country? Or just the United States? 

    Without reading the full article, it’s difficult to say how much merit a study like this has, but the last line about adaptivity in women makes it seem like the conclusions they’re trying to draw in this study aren’t what anyone here is talking about. Unfortunately, you’ve distilled their theses and conclusions down to this silly notion of men falling in love faster, and now we’re not even coming close to a discussion that approaches the actual topic of the study. 

    From what I can gather, the study is likely to go on to say that men have admitted to saying the words “I love you” before the women they’ve dated, but that doesn’t actually mean those men felt real love, and the study is clearly not about that. It’s about the risks inherent in moving a relationship into a place of more vulnerability and of rejection, and men are likely (for whatever reason that the study MAY discuss) to engage in risk-taking behavior, to be vulnerable (because they actually have fewer vulnerabilities in these situations), or have an evolutionary advantage when “pinning down” a relationship sooner rather than later. I don’t know because I can’t read the study, but THIS conversation actually has merit. The conversation beginning here is… heh, not peer reviewed, let’s say. 

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