(Closed) Do my gay friends have a problem with my wedding?

posted 11 years ago in LGBTQ
Post # 17
Member
3331 posts
Sugar bee

I’d just check in with your friends, let them know you were hoping they could make it and were wondering if they’d be there.  You may jus tbe reading into things about their feelings, you never know. 

 

Post # 18
Member
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I think you are reading way too much into it and it’s just a coincidence.  The LGBT community wants equal marriage rights.  They (generally) don’t hate on their straight friends that already have the right.  Personally, I feel horrible that I can get married and they can’t.  How much does it suck to know that we get to have all the joy, anticipation, etc of the ‘big day’ – and it’s something they’ve always been denied.

Post # 19
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

If you have tried contacting them several times, I think you would be justified in leaving a nice voicemail for each of them, "Hey Joe, we are finishing up seating arrangements and food choices and I really need to know if you can make it or not. If you are planning to come please let me know by Monday– otherwise I will assume you are busy and can’t make it. Hope things are going well! Talk to you later!"

Post # 21
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

There are two types of people in this world – those who conscientiously send in their RSVPs, and those who apparently don’t get why it’s important. I wouldn’t read anything more into their lack of response than that your two friends belong to the latter group. It’s frustrating for you, but call them again and if you can’t get them in person, let them know that if they don’t get back to you by X date you will assume they are not coming.

Post # 22
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I know it is frustrating, but for what it’s worth I doubt it is anything personal or anything to do with their sexual orientation

We see it on these boards time and time again: people just don’t seem to get why RSVPs are important. Sounds like you have handled it as well as you can! Good luck with the rest of your wedding planning!

Post # 24
Member
14 posts
Newbee

If it was anyone else that hadn’t replied, would you think that they were not supportive of your marriage?

I really think you’re reading too much into it – you don’t have anything to suggest that they don’t approve other than their sexuality.  Think about what you’re saying – "they haven’t replied, it must be because they are gay".  You say you don’t want to make assumptions, but really that’s what you are doing.

Some people just aren’t very good at responding.  Afraid you’ll just have to keep chasing up.  And if you really are worried about the non-support possibility – ask them.

Post # 25
Member
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I doubt it has anything to do with sexual orientation-that seems really silly to me. They might just suck at RSVP’s OR they dislike weddings-not everyone loves weddings and I’m sure that some of our gay friends are included in that list. 

Post # 26
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

Ditto PP’s probably reading into it too much. We had the big ‘ol catholic wedding and our gays came and had a great time.

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