(Closed) Do my plans breach engagement party etiquette?

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think the venue and the timing are both fine.

But the guest list is a problem. I would only invite people you know you will invite to the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree that the timing and venue are fine. We got engaged in August 2010, had the party in November 2010 and aren’t getting married until June 2012!

I would be careful about the guest list. Because our wedding was so far away from the date of the party we only invited people we knew would be invited to the wedding. This meant immediate family (parents, brothers/sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles and first cousins) and our bridal party and their significant others. These people will be invited to our wedding no matter what… We were not okay with inviting people who might not be as close to us in the upcoming years because we would then feel obligated to invite them to the wedding as well.

Post # 5
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m with the other posters – the venue and timing are totally fine. I would definitely trim your guest list down to only the people you are absolutely sure you will be inviting to the wedding. Nothing screams poor etiquette like inviting someone to a wedding festivity before the wedding, but not to the actual wedding.

Post # 8
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m not sure of the official rules but we are in a similar situation. Our wedding will be in summer 2013 and we are planning an engagement party for this summer. We are planning to invite people who may, or may not, be attending the wedding. I think in our circles of friends it won’t be seen as offensive. It is so hard to know how things will change over the next 2 years. We want to celebrate with as many friends and family as possible right now.

(We are doing a very casual, BBQ & lawn party thing which kind of sounds like the fun type of even you are planning)

Post # 9
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@MissTillie:The rule does not apply to the “plus” people.  You invited John +2 (I would only do 1 myself). He invited current Girlfriend Mary.  You didn’t invite her.  For the wedding, you invite John +1, he invites now Girlfriend Susie.  If you wouldn’t have otherwise invited Mary to the wedding, don’t worry about inviting her at that time.  Does that make sense?

Post # 10
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think that your party sounds so fun!! Don’t worry about it…we are having ours at a hall…same amount of guests…he also proposed in April and we are having ours mid-July! We aren’t getting married until 2013…since you are waiting at about 2 years for your wedding I wouldn’t worry about the time between the proposal and the party! As for the guest list…I would invite the co workers that you talk to on a regular basis(if there is any!) That is what we are doing 🙂

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