Post # 1
I am curious as to what your experience with is in receiving gifts from people who received an invitation and are not attending the wedding.
Whenever I have been invited to a wedding, I have sent a gift (off the registry) whether or not I attended the wedding. I am surprised by the number of people who have decined the invitation and made no indication that they would be sending a gift. I am especially surprised by people who I (or my parents) have given gifts to and/or attended their weddings and showers. Sometimes I have even traveled to their weddings.
Bees – what’s your experience?
Post # 3
@bunny8: People are not required to send a gift even if they do attend a wedding. Depending on who the guest is (if it’s an immediate family member for example), they may decide to still send a gift but there is no obligation and I would not expect a gift. Are you expecting them to send gifts even if they aren’t coming to the wedding?
Post # 4
@bunny8: My daughter wasn’t expecting gifts from negative RSVP, but to date she has received 2 and she was extremely surprised.
Post # 5
Generally it would not be anticipated, unless the person is very close to the couple
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I think an invitation warrants a gift so I send one if at all possible. I’d say that about half our RSVP-nos sent gifts, but none of them gave us any indication that they were going to send something. We just got a gift sometime later… most of them after the wedding. I don’t hold it against those who didn’t send one.
Post # 7
Not married yet, so I don’t have much to add.
But, how are you getting declines for a 2014 wedding? I mean I don’t know what I’m doing in August 2014 – I wouldn’t be able to concretely accept/decline your invitation nor would I indicate any form of gift giving such as asking about your registry. It’s too soon to be worrying about such things
Post # 8
@bunny8: if they are someone close and I can’t go I will send a gift but if I’m not close to them I wouldn’t send one.
Post # 9
I generally wouldn’t send a gift if I RSVP no to a wedding, mostly because I only RSVP “no” if I’m not all that close to the couple, so wouldn’t bother getting them a gift. If it’s someone I’m close to and I cannot attend their wedding for whatever reason then, yes, I’ll get them a wedding gift.
Post # 10
@IowaDDS13: +1 that’s what I was thinking.
I did get gifts from some of my declined invites.
Post # 11
I usually send a gift if I can’t attend. Only exception is invites that I can’t really even figure out why were were included in the guest list.
Post # 12
we received checks in cards from people who didn’t attend our wedding. The cards came right around our wedding though. I think one of my husband’s relatives put a check in with the RSVP but that was unexpected.
Post # 13
@IowaDDS13: I think OP was asking about general wedding etiquette, not specific to her wedding, based on past weddings that she’s been to as a guest. =)
@bunny8: In my family, most people send gifts anyway if they can’t come. I do as well, but its not required. I normally would if I couldn’t attend a wedding for whatever reason but was reasonably close to the bride and groom (cousin or closer, friend, etc.)
Post # 14
whether or not I send a gift to an event I decline is based solely just on how I feel at the time, and usually how well I know/like the person.
My shower is Saturday and so far I have gotten three gifts from people who are unable to attend – two family and one a friend.
Post # 15
I didn’t think people who weren’t coming would send a gift, but we actually had a few gifts arrive at my parents’ house BEFORE the wedding from people who wouldn’t be able to come.
Post # 16
I have declined 3 weddings and am going to decline a fourth soon. I am not sending a gift and I didn’t to the others. I didn’t understand why I was even invited to one of them when I hadn’t spoken to the bride in years, one was a coworker who I didn’t keep in touch with after I left, and the other I would have sent a gift if I had money at the time (I was and still am a broke college student lol)
My cousin sent me an invite but at this point he is way better off than I am financially (he’s about 10 years older than me) so I am not sending a gift to him either. I think this will probably change as I get older & can actually afford it though lol
I wouldn’t now nor do I think I would in the future send a gift to a wedding I am invited to that I am not at all close to the person. Some people just invite everyone they can think of hoping to get gifts and I’m not playing that game.