(Closed) Do Negative RSVPs still send gifts?

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
9667 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@bunny8:  People are not required to send a gift even if they do attend a wedding. Depending on who the guest is (if it’s an immediate family member for example), they may decide to still send a gift but there is no obligation and I would not expect a gift. Are you expecting them to send gifts even if they aren’t coming to the wedding?

Post # 4
Member
737 posts
Busy bee

@bunny8:  My daughter wasn’t expecting gifts from negative RSVP, but to date she has received 2 and she was extremely surprised.

 

Post # 5
Member
6355 posts
Bee Keeper

Generally it would not be anticipated, unless the person is very close to the couple

Post # 6
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I think an invitation warrants a gift so I send one if at all possible. I’d say that about half our RSVP-nos sent gifts, but none of them gave us any indication that they were going to send something. We just got a gift sometime later… most of them after the wedding. I don’t hold it against those who didn’t send one.

Post # 7
Member
632 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Not married yet, so I don’t have much to add.

 

But, how are you getting declines for a 2014 wedding? I mean I don’t know what I’m doing in August 2014 – I wouldn’t be able to concretely accept/decline your invitation nor would I indicate any form of gift giving such as asking about your registry. It’s too soon to be worrying about such things

Post # 8
Member
2951 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

@bunny8:  if they are someone close and I can’t go I will send a gift but if I’m not close to them I wouldn’t send one. 

Post # 9
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I generally wouldn’t send a gift if I RSVP no to a wedding, mostly because I only RSVP “no” if I’m not all that close to the couple, so wouldn’t bother getting them a gift. If it’s someone I’m close to and I cannot attend their wedding for whatever reason then, yes, I’ll get them a wedding gift.

Post # 10
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@IowaDDS13:  +1  that’s what I was thinking.

 

I did get gifts from some of my declined invites.

Post # 11
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I usually send a gift if I can’t attend.  Only exception is invites that I can’t really even figure out why were were included in the guest list. 

Post # 12
Member
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

we received checks in cards from people who didn’t attend our wedding.  The cards came right around our wedding though.  I think one of my husband’s relatives put a check in with the RSVP but that was unexpected.

Post # 13
Member
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@IowaDDS13:  I think OP was asking about general wedding etiquette, not specific to her wedding, based on past weddings that she’s been to as a guest. =)

 

@bunny8:  In my family, most people send gifts anyway if they can’t come. I do as well, but its not required. I normally would if I couldn’t attend a wedding for whatever reason but was reasonably close to the bride and groom (cousin or closer, friend, etc.)

Post # 14
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

whether or not I send a gift to an event I decline is based solely just on how I feel at the time, and usually how well I know/like the person.

My shower is Saturday and so far I have gotten three gifts from people who are unable to attend – two family and one a friend.

Post # 15
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I didn’t think people who weren’t coming would send a gift, but we actually had a few gifts arrive at my parents’ house BEFORE the wedding from people who wouldn’t be able to come.

Post # 16
Member
3053 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I have declined 3 weddings and am going to decline a fourth soon. I am not sending a gift and I didn’t to the others. I didn’t understand why I was even invited to one of them when I hadn’t spoken to the bride in years, one was a coworker who I didn’t keep in touch with after I left, and the other I would have sent a gift if I had money at the time (I was and still am a broke college student lol)

My cousin sent me an invite but at this point he is way better off than I am financially (he’s about 10 years older than me) so I am not sending a gift to him either. I think this will probably change as I get older & can actually afford it though lol

I wouldn’t now nor do I think I would in the future send a gift to a wedding I am invited to that I am not at all close to the person. Some people just invite everyone they can think of hoping to get gifts and I’m not playing that game.

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