Post # 1
For those of you who don’t know-I am going through a divorce. My ex has jumped off the deep-end in terms of his lifestyle (for those of you who don’t know, his sister works in porn and he has been hanging out with her and her friends, however she recently was arrested for drug possession) hard-drug use, constant partying etc. Well, his mom reached out to me yesterday and she wants to have an intervention for my ex. She wants me to be apart of that. I was hesitant to begin with, but this was the real kicker: she said I am part of the reason why he has fell so far down and I ‘owe it to him’. I ended the conversation at that point. I then sent her a text saying I wanted to be done with everything involving him, I wish him well, but I’m working on moving on. She called me “heartless”. Am I in the wrong here?
Post # 2
You don’t owe him shit. Just because he is turning his life to trash, it does not make it your responsibility. His Mum is trying to emotionally blackmail you as she clearly wants someone to blame other than her own son, for his own actions. Just block her number and move on with life. Don’t give it any more headspace. He is your ex for a reason. Just be strong about it.
Post # 3
you are NOT responsible for his actions. She was trying to guilt you into doing what she wants you to do. Don’t let her confuse you.
He’s the one who is choosing to do this to himself, you aren’t responsible for any of it. If you don’t want to be involved in the intervention, then don’t be.
And her words sound like a warning of how the intervention will go. HIS actions are because of OTHER people. Not because of HIM.
So, no thanks. You said no, I would leave it at that. Don’t try to explain yourself anymore. She thinks part of this is on YOU, i would be very hesitant to have any involvement with her if she’s going to hold you responsible for HIS actions
Post # 4
Does someone really need an intervention due to a three week period in their life? How much can his mom really know about the intimate details during the last few weeks?
Anyway who cares if she thinks you are heartless? If you don’t want to get involved then don’t, not everyone wants to continue any kind of contact with their ex. Ultimately how he deals with a break up is not your fault and it isn’t your responsibility.
Post # 5
Perhaps his mom should look in the mirror as the woman who raised two kids who are both partying and taking hardcore drugs as adults. This isn’t your fault, you don’t owe him anything, and you should block his whole family. What a shit show.
Post # 6
he’s an adult and she’s perfectly capable of making his own decisions. There are many people who get a divorce and they don’t start doing lines of cocaine, sleeping with strippers and partying all night. Going to the intervention is just going to give hope that you’ll take his sorry self back, which from your last post isn’t what you wanted. You are not responsible for his actions. He is. You have him ample opportunity to save the marriage before you left, now he deals with the consequences. You’re not heartless but you do need to take care of your own heart. Block him and his family and just communicate through lawyers.
Post # 7
I wouldn’t give this a second thought and I wouldn’t entertain any conversations regarding it.
Post # 8
were his family like this when you were married? Constantly pulling the blame from him and putting it on you? It would explain why he had no concept of the consequences his actions would create. So if anything, it’s their fault because they’ve never made him face his own actions.
Post # 9
Too bad, so sad. You owe him nothing. Block their numbers.
Post # 10
You don’t owe him anything he’s an adult and all those people are toxic to you. Bee, please cut them out of your life for good!
Post # 11
Perhaps his mom should look in the mirror as the woman who raised two kids who are both partying and taking hardcore drugs as adults.
Wouldn’t you just love to say this to her? NOT recommending you do of course.
To answer your question: You are absolutely not in the wrong. I would never attend an intervention in your circumstances.
You mentioned in your previous post that he was begging for another chance – attending this intervention would amp that up x100. You do not need or deserve this. Don’t go. Block ALL of their numbers and work on healing yourself. The entire family is toxic. You owe them less than nothing.
Post # 12
Fuck her. You don’t owe him anything and putting that blame on you was incredibly inappropriate. I absolutely would not go. These people are toxic and you need to cut contact with all of them.
Post # 13
right? This has all escalated so quickly.
Regardless, cut off the family completely. Don’t respond or talk to them.
Post # 14
Right….you made him take drugs and have sex with women in the porn industry. Isn’t that what every woman wants? Tell your Mother-In-Law to leave you alone ot you’ll report her for harrassment. Block her number.
Post # 15
She may call you whatever she likes. She’s looking to blame anyone but her darling son for his choices–you absolutely do not have to agree to the role she’s chosen for you.