Do not want to attend my ex's intervention.

posted 10 months ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Hostess
9128 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

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sweetiemermaid :  You don’t owe him shit. Just because he is turning his life to trash, it does not make it your responsibility. His Mum is trying to emotionally blackmail you as she clearly wants someone to blame other than her own son, for his own actions. Just block her number and move on with life. Don’t give it any more headspace. He is your ex for a reason. Just be strong about it. 

Post # 3
Member
5568 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

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sweetiemermaid :  you are NOT responsible for his actions. She was trying to guilt you into doing what she wants you to do. Don’t let her confuse you.

He’s the one who is choosing to do this to himself, you aren’t responsible for any of it. If you don’t want to be involved in the intervention, then don’t be.

And her words sound like a warning of how the intervention will go. HIS actions are because of OTHER people. Not because of HIM.

So, no thanks. You said no, I would leave it at that. Don’t try to explain yourself anymore. She thinks part of this is on YOU, i would be very hesitant to have any involvement with her if she’s going to hold you responsible for HIS actions 

Post # 4
Member
5917 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Does someone really need an intervention due to a three week period in their life?  How much can his mom really know about the intimate details during the last few weeks?

Anyway who cares if she thinks you are heartless? If you don’t want to get involved then don’t, not everyone wants to continue any kind of contact with their ex.  Ultimately how he deals with a break up is not your fault and it isn’t your responsibility. 

Post # 5
Member
4057 posts
Honey bee

Perhaps his mom should look in the mirror as the woman who raised two kids who are both partying and taking hardcore drugs as adults. This isn’t your fault, you don’t owe him anything, and you should block his whole family. What a shit show.

Post # 6
Member
2107 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

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sweetiemermaid :  he’s an adult and she’s perfectly capable of making his own decisions. There are many people who get a divorce and they don’t start doing lines of cocaine, sleeping with strippers and partying all night. Going to the intervention is just going to give hope that you’ll take his sorry self back, which from your last post isn’t what you wanted. You are not responsible for his actions. He is. You have him ample opportunity to save the marriage before you left, now he deals with the consequences. You’re not heartless but you do need to take care of your own heart. Block him and his family and just communicate through lawyers. 

Post # 7
Member
481 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I wouldn’t give this a second thought and I wouldn’t entertain any conversations regarding it. 

Post # 8
Member
2107 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

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sweetiemermaid :  were his family like this when you were married? Constantly pulling the blame from him and putting it on you? It would explain why he had no concept of the consequences his actions would create. So if anything, it’s their fault because they’ve never made him face his own actions.

Post # 9
Member
1681 posts
Bumble bee

Too bad, so sad. You owe him nothing. Block their numbers.

Post # 10
Member
516 posts
Busy bee

You don’t owe him anything he’s an adult and all those people are toxic to you. Bee, please cut them out of your life for good!

Post # 11
Member
2381 posts
Buzzing bee

Perhaps his mom should look in the mirror as the woman who raised two kids who are both partying and taking hardcore drugs as adults.

Wouldn’t you just love to say this  to her? NOT recommending you do of course.

To answer your question: You are absolutely not in the wrong. I would never attend an intervention in your circumstances.

You mentioned in your previous post that he was begging for another chance – attending this intervention would amp that up x100. You do not need or deserve this. Don’t go. Block ALL of their numbers and work on healing yourself. The entire family is toxic. You owe them less than nothing.

 

Post # 12
Member
10242 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Fuck her. You don’t owe him anything and putting that blame on you was incredibly inappropriate. I absolutely would not go. These people are toxic and you need to cut contact with all of them.

Post # 13
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee

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zzar45 :  right?   This has all escalated so quickly.  

Regardless, cut off the family completely.  Don’t respond or talk to them.  

 

Post # 14
Bee
5097 posts
Bee Keeper

Right….you made him take drugs and have sex with women in the porn industry. Isn’t that what every woman wants? Tell your Mother-In-Law to leave you alone ot you’ll report her for harrassment. Block her number.

Post # 15
Member
7322 posts
Busy Beekeeper

She may call you whatever she likes. She’s looking to blame anyone but her darling son for his choices–you absolutely do not have to agree to the role she’s chosen for you. 

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