(Closed) Do people ask if your pregnancy was a "surprise"?

posted 9 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 32
2001 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

That’s such a rude and intrusive question.  A couple’s use of birth control (or not) is their own business, nobody else’s.

I’ve been asked “was it planned/was it a surprise/were you trying?” lots of times and I don’t ever think I’ll get used to it (and it actually was a surprise, but I’m 30 and have been married almost 3 years so you’d think people wouldn’t ask).  I’ve started telling people we were trying for a puppy.

Post # 33
2001 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@MrsSmokey:  +1 (another BC baby on the way)!

Post # 35
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I am guilty of this, not recently but when my friends started having kids there was that transition from “oh shit what are you going to do?” to realizing that it may have actually been something they planned.

Post # 36
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m not pregnant but people actually asked me AT MY WEDDING! if I was because I had my hand on my stomach during part of the ceremony – ever think that maybe I was nervous about being in front of that many people – some of which I didn’t even know! Sorry – just needed to vent 😉

Post # 37
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MrsSmokey:  This is what annoys me. People who automatically assume if the pregnancy wasn’t planned that “they were being irresponsible”.

THANK you! +100

And, even if there was a mistake made in regards to use of birth control – shit happens and you make the best of it and things turn out for the best.  Leave the judgement at home.

Post # 38
2515 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Hyperventilate:  Thank you! I have a very close friend that I’m not sure if the baby was planned our not. She is open about their financial situation and immigration status and has told me she wanted to get the immigration issued resolved at least before TTC…. and if I were in their situation a baby would not be good news. So I don’t want to rub salt in their wound. The husband is super excited, but the wife is just meh about it all so I am the awkward friend that never knows what to say around them now. I don’t have the courage to just come out and ask despite how openly we talk to each other.

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