(Closed) Do People Highlight your "Other"ness?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
3019 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Ugh, that would make me feel uncomfortable too.

I’m unusually short for a caucasian woman, 5’0″. Depending on where I am, I get loads of attention about it. People give me stupid nicknames (In my office, coworkers are calling me the “Elf on a Shelf” right now), ask me questions about how I survive (uncomfortably and incoveniently, that’s for sure), and try be “helpful”… like, “Do you need me to reach that for you?” and “I saw this pixie-sized chair/footrest/stool over in ergonomics and I thought of you…” It’s annoying but it usually comes from a good place, so I let it go.

Post # 3
11520 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

Overjoyed:  that is seriously obnoxious.

I have really little feet.  Actually, they’re not as tiny as they look but they are small – I’m 5’4 and wear a size 6 but they tend to look smaller.  People comment on it all the time.

I’ve had people ask how I walk, how I can stand, why don’t I tip over….it’s so strange.

Post # 5
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - City, State

Ugh annoying! I have very pronounced dimples and everyone new I meet comments on them and tells me how adorable they are. Seemingly not a problem, but part of my job is to meet new contacts at networking events, it gets weird when these people would rather talk about my adorable dimples than the work I do… 

Post # 6
2540 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Wow! I would be so annoyed with that lady. People will often interrupt me when I’m talking to ask me how my teeth are so white. I use crest white strips (they really work, if anyone is wondering). Sometimes we’ll go through the whole crest white strip conversation, like how many times did I have to whiten to get them so white and how I maintain the whiteness…omg who cares? 

Eta: I whiten to make up for the fact that my teeth are crooked and my family couldn’t afford for me to get braces when I was younger.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by  boogiewoogies.
Post # 7
586 posts
Busy bee

Yeah, people seem to think I look weird too -_-” I have dark brown hair, brown eyes and and white skin, and am of Eastern European background. 

1. Everywhere I go, people stare. Last week I even had someone on a train blatantly gawking at me, his facial features arranged into an expression of what looked like fear and disturbance. It was as if he were looking at an alien.

2. People constantly refer to me as “ethnic” or “exotic”. This really irritates me because I was born and raised in the country in which I live, and English is my first language. I’ve also never said anything about my culture, as for the most part I live like anyone else in my country. There is nothing ethnic or exotic about me. It really annoys me when I talk about my past as a dancer (for example) and the person interjects to say, “You mean ethnic dancing, right?” Ugh, this boils my blood. Not to mention the fact that people assume I only eat food from my culture, and they say things like, “Why would you go to a Chinese restaurant? Don’t you only eat ___ food?” What a stupid assumption. I eat like anyone else. 

Sorry, this became a personal rant. I’m glad to have gotten that out. Hair questions annoy me too, but that’s a whole other thing. For some reason I’ve spent a *lot* of time researching natural kinky/curly hair, but most people find it this weird thing that they can’t comprehend, sadly. It makes them act pretty rude. 

Post # 8
3019 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Overjoyed:  Well, I thought it was pretty funny at first, too… but now I can’t unsee it. I kind of do look like the Elf on a Shelf. :-/

Post # 9
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I would be annoyed because you were making it clear that you didn’t want to discuss or need any of their input. However, if I were there, I would be completely fascinated to know and would probably drill you on everything you do. This would be more to help with my nieces hair because she also has that kind of hair and for the first 5 years of her life, we would ask anyone about advice. 

I am also a question asker because I’m very curious about things…and some people take it as being judgmental. I like to hear WHY someone made x decision or something like that…it really drove my Darling Husband nuts at first..”why aren’t you hungry..”, “why do you like this game…”. He now says why to me as a greeting.


Post # 10
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I’m all leg. Seriously, they are freaking long and don’t match my body due to a short torso. Most of my life people ask me if i play basketball. Uh, no.  Just because I’m an amazon doesn’t meant I shoot hoops. I used to be self conscious about my height and legs, but eh, i don’t have time for that now. People could stop staring though, if they only knew that I haven’t shaved my legs in over a month. Bet that would make them stop looking real fast.

Post # 13
4244 posts
Honey bee

I’m pretty short, people seem to like to point that out. Usually it doesn’t bother me but sometimes it’s annoying- “Wow, you’re short!” “Umm….yes?”.

Sometimes it’s pretty funny though. I hung out with a friend and her new boyfriend a few times, usually at her house and always sitting around. The first time we went out somewhere that involved standing, he was like “Whoa! I didnt realize you were so short- were usually sitting down when we hang out!”

Post # 14
9198 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i am 5 feet and wear size 4.5 shoe.  people comment on my height and how tiny my feet are all the time.  i say i’m just proportional.  and i should add i look much younger than my age, so that gets a lot of comments as well.

when i first moved into my house, i had a man over to give me an estimate on some work.  it was around 2:30 and he looks at his watch and asks when the kids are coming home.  i asked him what kids, i didn’t have any.  he kept insisting about what time the kids were coming home.  then he said, well there are so many little shoes outside.  i said those are mine.

i did not hire this guy.


Post # 15
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Overjoyed: I’m quite tall (5’10”) and it used to get a lot of attention, but doesn’t seem to any longer.  I wonder if it’s because the next generation of young women is even taller, so now I’m just “tallish”?  But being tall isn’t exactly controversial, so it’s not something that’s ever bothered me either way.  It’s sort of nice to have a way to stand out, actually.  

While I completely understand seeing kinky hair as a fascinating wonder I think it’s best to just google your questions and not needle someone you hardly know for all the details.

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