(Closed) Do people not understand how to fill out a RSVP?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Wow, I am super concerned now. I just sent out my invitations over the weekend and used the M______________, I did no #ing system…I guess I’ll know for next time? Lol

Post # 18
4122 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

View original reply
@Charbirdie: Same here. Actually, they mail today, but I totally forgot to number them until I had about 5 left to seal….


Fingers crossed :-/

Post # 19
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

My RSVP deadline has come and gone and we’re still waiting on a bunch, apparently not many people know that when you have an rsvp with a stamp it usually means to mail it. Also we have gotten a lot things with the M____ I like to read all the funny things, but right now i’m really not a fan of the people who didn’t write their names at all, and the people who rsvp’d yes with a guest and never put the guests name down

Post # 20
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m glad we’re not the only ones who’ve had all these problems! My favorite was the blank name with a star drawn on the “accepts with pleasure” line…luckily we numbered, but this person had an “and guest” so fiance will have to call her to ask how many people are coming!

@mrskesslertobe: I have excel spreadsheets too!!

Post # 21
6 posts
  • Wedding: October 2010

My father put down “Me and Ms. Sarah” on the M____ line, which we thought was hilarious.  People whose names start with M have also been taking full advantage of the M____ line.  As for the rest, apparently, despite the fact that they were mailed the cards with the postage already paid for, fully expect you to be mindreaders.  Sigh.

Post # 22
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’ve just concluded that people are lazy and don’t care. Really, if you’re so confused you can:

-call me on the telephone

-send me an email

-send me a text message

-write me a message on facebook or post to my damn wall

-call my mother

-call my fi’s mother

-LOOK IT UP ON THE DAMN INTERNET (seriously. google “M line on wedding RSVP” and google will tell you what to do.)

-consult an etiquette book


And yet … we get crap like this. I’ve had trouble with mine coming back incorrectly and FI’s family not really understanding how they work. This weekend he told me “if they send them back, it means they’re coming, if they don’t send them back, it means they’re not coming.”

Oh hellz to the no. 

Ours went out like this:

The favour of a reply is requested by September 18th


____ of 2 attending


I numbered the backs of them to prevent the M line confusion, and what do my guests do? Leave the freaking number attending line blank. Now I have to call these people and there really isn’t a nice way to say “are you coming or not, because you can’t follow directions on an RSVP.”

And then, Fiance tells me that he thinks they’re outdated anyway and we should have done email RSVPs. Right, because your 85 year old grandmother is going to rsvp online.

I’ve *always* been considerate when filling out RSVPs — I’ve filled them out promptly and correctly. If I can handle this, and I’m 27, why is it so difficult for his aunts and uncles?


ETA: And all of those people who have said “can’t I just tell you I’m coming?”

No. No you may not.

I sent you a pre-addressed stamped envelope. You don’t even have to take it to the post office, if you put it in your mailbox, the mailman will pick it up for you. Stoping being so damn lazy for once in your life. Argh.

Post # 23
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

we decided to forgo the M__________________ because i know people are clueless.  We wrote Names__________________ accept or decline.  we included meal choice with “initial each guests’ dinner choice” and people still managed to screw that up.

since then I’ve been really good about rsvping!

Post # 24
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Um, I read this entire thread and still don’t know how to fill it out.

I am going to be “tacky” and request RSVP by phone/email/in person only. 

Post # 25
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@ Missrobots:

The M_____________ should be filled out like this:

Mr. & Mrs. Joe Shmoe

I think! lol or @ least that’s how I do it.

Post # 26
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Haha! I know right!

I eliminated the m issue by not using the traditional form. I put:





Post # 27
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

my fiance’s name is mark, so he looooves filling out “M_______” cards as “ark (last name)” because he thinks he’s funny.  at least they know who he is.

there will be no M______ on ours.  we’re going madlib style.

Post # 28
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I HATE the M  thing.  I mean, I get it, but I hate it. I’m a doctor, and while I never use that title in my personal life, it bugs me when people MAKE me drop my title and use Ms. istead…and since the M confuses people anyway, it just seems better to replace it with (names)___________________

Luckily, I’ll have few enough RSVP cards that I can just write in the names.

Seems like things should be easier than they are!

Post # 29
1254 posts
Bumble bee

I think some people are just clueless/careless when it comes to weddings. Nevermind that they’ve been married themselves and had been through the process before. I will be putting “Names” instead of “M” on my RSVP cards to make it easier for the guests to understand. But I already know that short of teaching a mini-class on wedding etiquette, there is really nothing I can do to get them to respond correctly or timely.

For example, I sent out STD postcards with 4 lines on the card: (1) Our wedding date, (2) our names, (3) our wedding location, (4) and a note indicating that Formal Invitations were to Follow. Within a few days, I got text messages asking me when the wedding was and where it was located. I also got a text message, asking why RSVP instructions were not included with my invitation. And since instructions were not included, they were sending me a text to let me know they were coming.

There were 4 lines on a 5″x7″ card. It was hard to miss, yet people still had questions. People are clueless and careless.

Post # 30
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have the “M” line on my response cards, and I am really regretting it.  But, in the “M” line’s defense, I think the problem is not just that.  It’s that people don’t read what things say at all.  I’ve had people ask me what my wedding website is (it’s in the invitation), what time the ceremony starts (it’s in the invitation), the name of the reception site (it’s in the invitation), what the food choices are (it’s in the invitation)…you get the idea.  I feel like I should have taken out a billboard for each guests’ front yard instead of printing all those invitations, LOL.

Post # 31
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I figured that people don’t get the M________ thing anymore, so we just went with (names)______________

But to prove there’s no such thing as a fool-proof RSVP, even though everyone has written in their names, about a fifth of the cards have nothing checked for “will gladly attend” or “must sadly decline” But we have meal choices on the card too, so I guess I’m hoping that people didn’t randomly select a meal if they aren’t coming.

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