Post # 1
Tonight I had two friends tell me that I need to send my invites out (2.5 months in advance) cause “people need to know if they’re invited.” Um…..I sent out Save the Dates to everyone on the guest list. Both of the friends who said this to me have our Save the Date magnets on their fridge. What is it they don’t know exactly? They both have significant others and I specifically listed their significant others on the Save the Date envelope so they’d know in advance that they were invited with a plus one. I don’t get it. My response was, “That’s what Save the Dates are for,” and they were like, “I like that you don’t care what people think. But seriously, you need to send out your invites.” What?!?!?! I’m sending invites out in two weeks, which is about two months before the wedding. Is that not ok? I DON’T UNDERSTAND!!!
Post # 3
Were they looking for the exact time of the wedding? I can’t imagine what problem they have with your timetable for mailling your invitations. Two months is fine, especially since you sent save the dates. Silly friends.
Post # 4
People do NOT know what Save The Dates are for. They just don’t. After sending ours, I got the following responses from people:
“I got your invitation.”
“I got your announcement.”
“What is this card thingy?”
I’ve had to explain Save The Dates to about 5 people, who didn’t know what they had received from me. What? Seriously?
A few weeks ago, my dad actually called to lecture me because he realized that I hadn’t sent my invitations yet. I had just under 5 MONTHS to go! I told him when invitations are usually sent, and he practically yelled. “Jennifer! Your wedding is in Las Vegas! People need to know if they’re invited so that they can make travel plans!” I said, “I sent Save The Dates!” He says, “Those cards? Those don’t count.” UGH. Suddenly, my dad is a wedding professional, apparently.
Post # 5
Haha I’ve had this problem too and I haven’t even sent my Save the Dates out yet! I’m planning on sending them next week but I got on FB and asked some friends from uni for their addresses so I could mail them the save the dates and lots of them were like, “Cool! You’re sending out your invitations?!” I also neglected to put “Formal Invitations to Follow” on our STD’s so now I’m worried people are gonna freak out and think they are the invitations… but without times or anything on them. Grrrr!
Post # 6
Ugh, so irritating. One of my friends kept calling it a card for my gathering. “Can I bring my boyfriend to your gathering? Can he get a card?” “Can (name of our mutual friend) give you her address so she can get a card for your gathering?” First of all, it’s not a gathering, it’s my wedding and you know it. Second of all, it’s a save the date, or as some of my friends call it “remember the date” or “keep the date thingy.”
When my parents got theirs, they called me up, screaming, “THE PARENT’S NAMES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE INVITATION KRISTIN! THAT ‘S NOT RIGHT!” Sigh.
Post # 7
You really can’t win (if winning means not confusing someone or hearing their unsolicited opinion). If you sent your invitations out early, I guarantee someone would say, “Why are you sending these? The wedding isn’t for 4 months! I’m just going to lose it and forget when it is.”
Post # 8
We had STD magnets and i also sent a little note with them.
It said: After a privite ceremony in the Bahamas Nick & Shellee are having a reception at the **** in *** On November 27th 2010. Please save the date! Formal invatations will be sent out in the Fall
FI’s grandmother called Future Mother-In-Law to ask what it was that she got……
Post # 9
I agree that many people aren’t clear on Save the Dates. Honestly, until I started planning my wedding I had NO IDEA that invitations went out so close to the wedding. I thought you were supposed to get them months and months in advance. Now I know better 🙂
I would just stick with your original plan and let people know that a Save the Date IS letting them know that they’re invited to the wedding. If they want more information(like times), maybe just let them know or direct them to your wedding website (if you have one).
Post # 10
Weird! We haven’t sent ours out yet, but I’m sure we’ll run into some of this craziness too.
Post # 11
This is why I saved the money and didn’t send Save-The-Date Cards.
Post # 12
I just KNOW that these are the type of responses I’m going to get also! I have a feeling that 99% of my guests will have no idea what a Save the Date is either! Oh well, I really want one because I want an excuse to use engagement photos and to sent out a more ‘fun’ casual card.
Luckily a LOT of my guests will be my parents friends, and my mom seems to understand the concept of a save the date. They can complain to her (or be confused to her) and she can explain it hehe.
Post # 13
Yeah, I’m not sure everyone quite understands the Save-The-Date Cards. I had a friend, who I met for coffee last week, apologize that he hadn’t RSVPd yet, but that he wasn’t going to make it to our wedding. All of this, when I haven’t sent invites yet – he’s a single dude and had no idea what the STD was. Both of our Aunts also have had such confusion. One sending us a gift already, with a note saying she’s sorry she’ll miss our day (which is super sweet, but I thought pre-mature because we haven’t sent Invites yet!) and the other called my mom wanting to know how she was supposed to RSVP.
I think because they’re a new-ish tradition that a lot of people aren’t totally clear on what they are. I’d say the one mistake we made on ours was to not put “Formal Invitation To Follow” on it. We figured because it screamed, Save the Date, that it was obvious – but not so.
Post # 14
Wow, y’all’s stories are way worse than mine. That makes me feel better. 🙂 But yeah, our Save the Date directs people to our website, which has all the pertinent info. I understand older people not understanding, since Save the Dates and wedding websites are relatively new. But these are friends of mine in their 20s. Sigh.
@jadeblue, you are SO right in saying that you really can’t win. That should be the theme of wedding planning. Everybody has a comment or complaint no matter what you do. Ah well. At least I’ll be married to Fiance after this. 🙂
Post # 15
yikes! we haven’t sent ours just yet but i had no idea people didn’t “get it.” I know i will expect this now!!!
Post # 16
Well, to be fair, out of about 180 guests, only two of them have indicated to me that they didn’t realize that receiving a Save the Date means that they’re invited to the wedding. (Even though it says “invitation to follow”) So the majority of our guests do seem to get it.
At least I think they do. They may just be silently confused. Ha.