Post # 1
I am 22 one month from 23 and just recently married. My husband gave me a beautiful wedding ring that we sat down and designed together.
Obviously this is just one story out of many… But, the other day I went and had my nails painted. But my lady asked me if I was married and I said yes I got married last month (with a huge smile of course). And she says in response oh you look only 17 years old. So I respond saying I am 22 almost 23. Then she says your husband must have two jobs to pay for you and be much older. So I just chuckle (trying to not be offended) and say no he just has one job and he is also 22.
But I could not believe that she repeatedly said oh he must have two jobs to pay for you.
The entire situation frustrated me so much. Why would anyone assume that someone is a materialistic brat because she has a nice ring.
No one knows anything about anyone.
Why is it that people feel like with one piece of information they can automatically judge your entire life? This lady never said he must have two jobs to pay for that, she said he must have two jobs to pay for you (meaning I must buy a lot of things).
Sorry for the vent, but like I said before this is not the first time something like this has happened.
What is it about having a nice ring? Do people really judge me most of the time?
Here is my ring for reference.
Post # 3
I would be offended that she thought he had to PAY FOR YOU.
Post # 4
@katy13: They probably do judge because they are jealous. Or really are confused because most 22-23 year olds can’t afford a bigger ring yet. I think your ring is gorgeous. Ignore what other people think.
Post # 5
Is it just me, or is the ring in your avatar photo different than the one you’re showing here?
Here’s the thing. Sure, some people will judge. Some people won’t like your ring. The question is, why do you care?
Post # 6
@katy13: People will judge you every day for a lot of different things. Honestly I wouldn’t take it to heart.
Post # 7
I’m actually kind of surprised at the voters who said yes, because it’s too big. If it’s the ring you loved, and your hubby could afford it, nothing is too big. Really, people should mind their own business when it comes to things like that, especially when it’s someone who is serving you by doing your nails. She might have also thought because he is so young he must have crap jobs and need more than one to support the two of you. But, still nevertheless rude. Don’t feel insecure about your ring! I could only dream at the time being of having a ring that big or beautiful! All that matters is that you love your ring. I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t let others ruin what represents your love and marriage and a ring you love!
Post # 8
I’m always curious about how very young people pay for larger rings (though I would NEVER ask) but I wouldn’t judge unless you went into crazy debt over it (and even then – how would I know that?). I’d go all feminist on her and be very offended that someone assumes I, as a dainty flower of a woman, need to be PAID FOR. That doesn’t fly with me.
Post # 9
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
Mostly I think she was just being rude! I went to get my nails done for a friend’s wedding and the woman was so rude to me too. She kept telling all of us we were not happy enough for my friend. Then asked me if I was married while examining my ring finger, at the time I was not even engaged..she tossed my hand away in disgust when I told her no and told me “Next year then! You get married!” LOL? WTH? Seriously…I don’t even know what to say about some people.
Your ring is lovely and you should be proud to have it. If people judge you for it, that’s their problem. Some people love to judge or be rude no matter what you have! Big ring = comments about being high maintence etc…Small ring (like me) = you poor thing! You cannot win!
Post # 10
Her comments were rude. Period.
However, your ring is shockingly gorgeous and big, especially for someone your age. Maybe she wanted to say something about the size of your ring (not necessarily saying this appropriate), and didn’t know what else to say. It’s like when people say ” wow! Your fiancé must really love you to buy you such a ring”… It’s like what?? You mean if my ring was smaller it means he didn’t love me? Sometimes people just think they need to say something about the size of the ring, and stupid shit spills out of their mouth.
Post # 11
@abbie017: Looks like she may have got it reset?
I had someone tell me they thought my ring was fake because I look 15 years old and they thought I wore it to deter men from hitting on me. Talk about offended and awkward for my husband who was like…”Do I look like a pedophile or something?”
Don’t worry about what other people think. Who cares. If you’re happy and your hubby is happy, nothing else should matter. 🙂
Post # 12
@abbie017: Yes it is. Lol that was my engagement ring. We designed a new ring for my wedding ring. I don’t have a band. And every time I try to load a new avatar it says the file is too big. So idk how to change it. You can see the center stone is the same stone. 🙂
Post # 13
@abbie017: now that you pointed that out…hmm?
OP, yes ppeople will judge you for being married young. People will make assumptions your husband your life, and your finances based on your ring and anything else they can outwardly see. We all do this, only some of us will speak our assumptions out loud and make them known.
Post # 14
@katy13: that is so cool how you repurposed your center stone. What did you end up doing with the metal? Are the additional diamonds just added on top?
Post # 15
@katy13: Most 22 year olds aren’t in the position to afford a ring like that so she was probably taken aback. I think it’s great that you guys are so financially stable this early in life. At 22 all I could think about was how I was going to pay off my student loans.
Post # 16
Here’s the thing, it is a large ring. Not too big, I think you’d have to be going for the queen’s jewels to actually be too big. However, it IS large.
Large indicates that there is not an insubstantial investment into the piece. This indicates that someone is coming from a place of a lot of money.
A lot of money can be made through working, or through family connections, or by saving for a long time.
I think it makes sense to deduce that buying a large ring either means that the partner is older and has saved a lot, younger and worked their tail off, or just simply well-off.
Most of these situations indicate that the woman wearing the ring does not need to work, and is a woman of leisure. While none of these may be accurate, the deduction based on the outward signs of wealth make sense and aren’t a neccessarily a judgement.