(Closed) Do people really judge me?

posted 5 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Do people really judge me off of my ring?
    Yes, because it is too big : (110 votes)
    29 %
    Yes, because you are too young : (48 votes)
    13 %
    No, why would there be any judgment to make : (56 votes)
    15 %
    Maybe, depends on the person : (154 votes)
    40 %
    Other... I will tell you in the comments. : (14 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    9916 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would be offended that she thought he had to PAY FOR YOU.  

    Post # 4
    435 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    @katy13:  They probably do judge because they are jealous. Or really are confused because most 22-23 year olds can’t afford a bigger ring yet. I think your ring is gorgeous. Ignore what other people think. 

    Post # 5
    13251 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Is it just me, or is the ring in your avatar photo different than the one you’re showing here?

    Here’s the thing.  Sure, some people will judge.  Some people won’t like your ring.  The question is, why do you care?

    Post # 6
    1603 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @katy13:  People will judge you every day for a lot of different things. Honestly I wouldn’t take it to heart.

    Post # 7
    327 posts
    Helper bee

    I’m actually kind of surprised at the voters who said yes, because it’s too big. If it’s the ring you loved, and your hubby could afford it, nothing is too big. Really, people should mind their own business when it comes to things like that, especially when it’s someone who is serving you by doing your nails. She might have also thought because he is so young he must have crap jobs and need more than one to support the two of you. But, still nevertheless rude. Don’t feel insecure about your ring! I could only dream at the time being of having a ring that big or beautiful! All that matters is that you love your ring. I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t let others ruin what represents your love and marriage and a ring you love!

    Post # 8
    290 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I’m always curious about how very young people pay for larger rings (though I would NEVER ask) but I wouldn’t judge unless you went into crazy debt over it (and even then – how would I know that?). I’d go all feminist on her and be very offended that someone assumes I, as a dainty flower of a woman, need to be PAID FOR. That doesn’t fly with me.

    Post # 9
    2610 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

    Mostly I think she was just being rude! I went to get my nails done for a friend’s wedding and the woman was so rude to me too. She kept telling all of us we were not happy enough for my friend. Then asked me if I was married while examining my ring finger, at the time I was not even engaged..she tossed my hand away in disgust when I told her no and told me “Next year then! You get married!” LOL? WTH? Seriously…I don’t even know what to say about some people.

    Your ring is lovely and you should be proud to have it. If people judge you for it, that’s their problem. Some people love to judge or be rude no matter what you have! Big ring = comments about being high maintence etc…Small ring (like me) = you poor thing! You cannot win!

    Post # 10
    1846 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Her comments were rude. Period.

    However, your ring is shockingly gorgeous and big, especially for someone your age. Maybe she wanted to say something about the size of your ring (not necessarily saying this appropriate), and didn’t know what else to say. It’s like when people say ” wow! Your fiancé must really love you to buy you such a ring”… It’s like what?? You mean if my ring was smaller it means he didn’t love me? Sometimes people just think they need to say something about the size of the ring, and stupid shit spills out of their mouth.

    Post # 11
    2050 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @abbie017:  Looks like she may have got it reset?

    I had someone tell me they thought my ring was fake because I look 15 years old and they thought I wore it to deter men from hitting on me.  Talk about offended and awkward for my husband who was like…”Do I look like a pedophile or something?”

    Don’t worry about what other people think.  Who cares.  If you’re happy and your hubby is happy, nothing else should matter. 🙂

    Post # 13
    1634 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @abbie017:  now that you pointed that out…hmm?

    OP, yes ppeople will judge you for being married young. People will make assumptions your husband your life, and your finances based on your ring and anything else they can outwardly see. We all do this, only some of us will speak our assumptions out loud and make them known.


    Post # 14
    1634 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @katy13:  that is so cool how you repurposed your center stone. What did you end up doing with the metal? Are the additional diamonds just added on top?

    Post # 15
    5189 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @katy13:  Most 22 year olds aren’t in the position to afford a ring like that so she was probably taken aback. I think it’s great that you guys are so financially stable this early in life. At 22 all I could think about was how I was going to pay off my student loans.

    Post # 16
    1557 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Here’s the thing, it is a large ring. Not too big, I think you’d have to be going for the queen’s jewels to actually be too big. However, it IS large.

    Large indicates that there is not an insubstantial investment into the piece. This indicates that someone is coming from a place of a lot of money.

    A lot of money can be made through working, or through family connections, or by saving for a long time.

    I think it makes sense to deduce that buying a large ring either means that the partner is older and has saved a lot, younger and worked their tail off, or just simply well-off.

    Most of these situations indicate that the woman wearing the ring does not need to work, and is a woman of leisure. While none of these may be accurate, the deduction based on the outward signs of wealth make sense and aren’t a neccessarily a judgement.

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