Post # 1
Hey Bees, just not sure on the appropriate thing to do here. When we sent the save the dates, we had a couple people tell us they knew they couldn’t make it due to difficulty with travel, being weeks post-partum in September, etc. You know, life stuff. My question is, do they still get an invitation mailed to them? I was planning to, since I felt like it would be rude to give them a save the date and not an invitation, but then I read an article on wedding wire that it’s rude to send them an invitation if they already said they can’t come because it seems gift grabby? What’s the proper etiquette on this?
Post # 2
- Wedding: November 2019 - Philadelphia, PA
That’s a good question lol. Nowadays everyone gets offended over everything so you have no idea what is right or wrong anymore lol. What I would do is check in with those people before sending your official invites out. Say hey I know you said you couldn’t make it but I just wanted to double check if anything has changed before I send out my invites. I don’t think you can go wrong with that. 🙂
Post # 3
I would send the invite so they have the details. It could be that their circumstances change between now and then, and they’ll be able to RSVP yes after all. Not sending the invitation is like writing them off months in advance.
Post # 4
This is why I’m not a big fan of save the dates. I feel like they add an extra layer of grey area.
I would probably err on the safe side and send them out to everyone who received Save-The-Date Cards, but obviously, you can send out additional invitations to people who didn’t receive Save-The-Date Cards.
Post # 5
keikochan : “I read an article on wedding wire that it’s rude to send them an invitation if they already said they can’t come because it seems gift grabby” — This is terrible advice. An invitation is never gift-grabby unless it mentions gifts, so that reasoning is faulty. Next, what if the person’s circumstances change so that they CAN come now, but you didn’t send them an invitation? How awkward. Send them the invitation and they can RSVP like everyone else when the date gets closer.
Post # 6
Right? I was thinking what if circumstances change? Like my cousin who said she couldn’t get vacation time on those days but what if someone at the company cancelled their vacation and the time off was suddenly available?
I already have their invitations printed and addressed, I just read that article and wasn’t sure anymore. Thanks everyone, I will send them an invite after all!
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2019 - Southampton, UK
I still sent the invitations anyway.
Post # 8
Send invites to everyone who got an STD. There’s not a formal RSVP with Save-The-Date Cards and people could change their mind.
Post # 9
I would send the invitation. If it makes you feel better, you could include a short note saying “I know you said you won’t be able to attend, but we wanted to include you in case your situation has changed and you are able to join us.”