(Closed) Do people who you invite usually attend the ceremony?

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: What do you think I should do?
    Yes, everyone will show up to the ceremony leave the 100 chairs ? : (26 votes)
    74 %
    No, they won't all show to the ceremony and take 10 chairs out so the quartet can play? : (7 votes)
    20 %
    about 80 people will show to the ceremony? : (2 votes)
    6 %
    about 50 will show to the ceremony? : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think it *may* depend on your area/family/culture. I’ve been to weddings where parents with young children will skip the ceremony and then come for the reception (so the LO don’t interrupt the ceremony) but it’s a toss up as to how common it is. If there are a lot of children invited, I imagine this is likely. However, I’ve never attended a wedding with mostly adults and had a significant percentage of adults skip the ceremony. We always go to both.

    Post # 4
    Member
    4193 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    You already have 28 fewer chairs than your RSVPs? Pulling another 10 chairs could equal 38 cranky guests.

    It’s very possible that a few guests could skip the ceremony, but expecting 30% of your guests to be no-shows for the ceremony is pushing it.

    Post # 6
    Member
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I would actually add chairs to make sure everyone is accomodated. I wouldn’t be ok if I showed up at a wedding, dressed nicely and in heels and have to stand through the ceremony. I personally don’t think it’s fair to guests to do that.

    At this point, your guests’ comfort is out the window and you’re further inconveniencing them for the music…they’re probably not going to be happy.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Most weddings i have been to only those closest to the couple attended the ceremony and the rest only came to the reception, which is quite rude IMO since the reception is a thank you for attending the ceremony.

    I think it depends on regional and family culture, if your family keeps telling you that not everyone will attend the ceremony they probably have an idea what to expect.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1548 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Are the ceremony and reception at the same location? Is there a break between? I’ve noticed that when the ceremony is earlier in the day and at the different location, not as many people attend, but if they are at the same location, I think almost everyone will attend.

    Sorry, I just realized you answered my questions in the previous post. Since they are at the same location, I think most people will attend both.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1734 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think you should assume, unless people tell you specifically, that those who RSVP will come for both events. You’re already low on chairs — I think you need to make a note on your wedding website (and tell your young and able-bodied friends), that preference for chairs is to be given to older folks and people with kids, and that some people are going to need to stand.

    Is this a little rude? Yes. But that’s the situation you’re in. If you let people know (and unless you have a really long ceremony), it probably won’t be a huge thing. I have been to one or two outdoor weddings where everyone stood except people who needed to sit.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    It sounds like you know your guests and a lot of them will show up late. And you have instructed your wedding planner to not allow late comers into the ceremony so I guess you have solved your own problem. It’s too late now anyway to do anything about it. You can’t un-invite people.

    To answer your question regarding if it is common for people to skip the ceremony? No, not in my circle of friends and family.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2692 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    It’s totally typical in fi’s family for people to not attend the ceremony (not on purpose though… they are ALWAYS late).  Since we’re not having the typical Catholic wedding like most of his family had (hour long mass), I know for a fact people will miss our ceremony and I am fine with that.  You know your family, so plan accordingly.

    In anticiaption for this, I have only booked enough chairs to accomodate the total amount of people I figure (hope) might show up.  The “cocktail” hour (mingling time) is right after the ceremony at the same place (on the terrace) so anyone who comes late and misses the ceremony can enjoy the mingling period and not feel too bad that they missed our vows.

    The ceremony is in a different location from the reception just to note. We plan to start promptly and it’s a short ceremony so we are planning accordingly.

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