(Closed) Do reception ‘Crashers’ get shower invites? Advice needed – Help!

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

 I don’t know what the "proper" thing to do is, but I can give you my opinion…

If you feel that awkward about it, then don’t invite them.  It is your shower.  If it were a joint shower then it would be a different story.  I guess I am kind of comparing it to him inviting male friends of yours that he barely knows to his bachelor party.

Post # 4
484 posts
Helper bee

Do not invite them to your shower. If they aren’t close enough to you and your FH to be invited to your whole wedding, I don’t think they need to be included in your shower. Explin to your FH that is not proper to obligate them to a shower gift (which is what your invitation would be doing) if they are not attending your entire reception.

Post # 5
1998 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’m sure most of the advice you’ll get here will be "Absolutely not."

I don’t think girls that don’t know you would be too keen on coming to your shower — one where they probably won’t know anyone but each other!

If you really feel like they should get an invite, maybe have your Fiance mention it to them casually, "Oh hey, there’s going to be a shower X day, if you’re interested. gperry wanted you to know you’re welcome to come if you like."

The ettiquette police might want to kill me for that advice, but I’ve never been much for ettiquette, anyway.

A lot of the peeps coming to my shower aren’t invited to the wedding … it’s an open church shower, but the wedding isn’t open. I decided not to invite my FI’s female friends that I’m not friends with — even the ones that are invited to the wedding. It would be a little weird, I thought.

Just my opinion, though. Do what you think would be best accepted by your Fiance and his friends!

Post # 6
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I wouldn’t invite them to a shower.  A shower is generally for people who are really close to the bride – people who wish to celebrate the upcoming marriage at more than just the wedding.  If these are casual friends, they shouldn’t be at the shower, and they definitely should not be invited if they aren’t coming to the whole wedding.

Post # 7
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think it’s halarious that you are inviting wedding crashers. LOL! I don’t think my venue would allow that to happen but what a funny idea!

And I agree with everyone else-d,on’t invite them to the shower.

Post # 8
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

If you feel at all uncomfortable about inviting them to the shower, just leave it be. I am sure they won’t be offended for not being invited to a shower, which as someone said above is often for just the bride’s nearest and dearest (with a medium/large wedding, it would be rare for every female wedding guest to be invited to a shower). You’ll feel more comfortable at your own shower if you aren’t worrying about them the entire time and can just relax and have fun with your closest family & friends.  

Post # 9
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Showers aren’t supposed to include every female guest invited to the wedding.  Both of my showers were only very close, local family and friends…

especially since this group didn’t get invited to the wedding–I don’t think you have an obligation to invite them to the shower.. 

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