- 2 years ago
def have thought many times maybe this is my karma and I deserved this because of what happened to his ex. I remember he tried to kiss me one night before he broke up with her and we were all out at a party, and I pushed him away stating that I had been cheated on before and would NOT be a party to it. I may not have crossed any lines physically with him, but i liked him and there was an emotional tie there. Im sure much the same happened with this girl. And as much as it sounds like I am blaming the other woman, I am not deep down. I know it would have been anybody that showed him the slightlest attention that he wasnt getting from me.
In his words the relationship shouldnt require work and the “spark” should be natural. Little did i know he was talking to her and she ignited that “spark” for him, 5 years cant compete with someone new and exciting while your other relationship is boring and routine. Its a life lesson, thats forsure. I just wish he had talked to me about these feelings, instead of buying a home with me, lieing about going on a trip with her, using me for money etc.
I dont know why i thought he was a “catch” back then, I guess chalk it up to me convincing myself he was unhappy and what he told me about his ex. Also being young and niave. I would never do the same thing at 32 now, this happened when i was 24. Again I am sure it was the same for her. Either way, he is the common denominator in all these scenarios. Im sure her calling my cell phone at the begining, breaking into his phone and trying to stalk me are all levels of insecurity, cause how could you not be insecure in that situation? I feel bad about how things played out with his ex and I always did…I talked to he when we started dating to tell her nothing physically happened between us for what its worth, but no one deserves that. I guess changing my outlook is the key, as heart breaking as it was, I have grown alot and achieved alot.
Thank you for being open and honest, I appreciate your candor