Post # 31
Caturner15: Yes, this annoys me. I understand that it is generally a joke and/or people projecting their own lives on other people, but it does contribute to pervasive gender stereotypes and negative views toward marriage.
Look at your typical sitcom… dopey funny husband with a nagging wife that never let’s him have any fun. I can think of very few examples that don’t fit this model.
Darling Husband has gotten these comments, but doesn’t really anymore, because the “jokers” generally don’t get their desired reaction. He’s not the kind of person to ignore these comments or just chuckle and move on, he will absolutely defend me and our marriage. Once people realized that they weren’t going to get anywhere commenting things like that, they stopped.
Post # 32
I also dislike it when men themselves play up the stereotype of pretending they don’t have any say or opinion to anything regarding the wedding/marriage — like not having any balls or courage to stand up to pushy women is endearing — and that “she’s the boss — so whatever she wants”… blah blah blah… *eyes rolled* that just irks me.
Post # 33
Yeah it is annoying when people think that the GROOM couldn’t possibly be excited or happy… -_-
Post # 34
ClaudiaKishi: You hit the nail on the head.
Really, this shouldn’t be “stereotypes against men,” this is more “Stereotypes that men put on women and marriage.” They’re all actually pretty “pro” man, all like “you better off single because you strong and must use penis often and evil woman be trying to stop use of magic penis.”
Post # 35
nothing: I agree that it comes down to pure and simple sexism, but there’s nothing “pro-men” about it. Men are people too, and most don’t enjoy the pressure that exists to walk around like big, swinging dicks that are supposed to like working hard, working out, and sexing up the ladies free of commitment or emotional attachment.
Sure, many men enjoy certain aspects of stereotypical manhood, but I think that the pressure on men to be “manly” is just as difficult as the pressure on women to be “womanly.” Of course – the stakes are a little different, and the average man will be paid more, be encouraged to assert himself more often, and feel less physical danger in life.
Post # 36
geneva2: Sorry, I’m not saying that it’s pro-men, I’m saying that it is a sentiment that is rooted in misogyny. That’s all. As ClaudiaKishi said, most of these problems that seem “anti-man” are just the products of misogyny. That’s why feminism rules because it’s about not having any pressure on either sex to conform to misogynistic stereotypes. Everyone wins! 🙂
Post # 37
nothing: Yes, exactly. That’s how I try to explain feminism to people around me.. 🙂
Post # 38
As a messy, blundering woman married to a neat freak man, I laugh it off, but it’s annoying! I’ve been told many times that I’ll have to learn to iron new DH’s shirts-um, I’m not a slave, and he’s not a hapless fool. Rude to both of us, IMO
Post # 39
The irony is that often times these sterotypes often lead to bad marriages, which perpetuates the sterotypical marriage. Example–so a guy is dating a woman who for th most part is decent, but she is a bit naggy and controling.(because she never learned how to communicate properly) Nothing too bad, but enough that he doesn’t like it. BUT he thinks, based on what he’s heard, that this is the type of behavior that he should expect. So instead of leaving her and finding someone more compatible, he marrys her. He feels resentful, so he does less and less in the marriage. Then kids come, household responsibilities increase, she ‘nags’ him (because she doesn’t know how to communicate her needs appropriately), he withdraws even more.
So two people, who may or may not have been compatible, who don’t know how to communicate get married. And not surprisingly, the marriage deteriorates and he bitches and moans to his co-wokers…
Post # 40
nothing: Thanks for stating that way more eloquently than I could have 🙂
Post # 41
yes it annoys the hell out of me because we both are considered young I am 23 and he is 24 so out of his friends he is the first to get married to friends and some of his family always say little things like that to him but my thing is hes the one who freaking asked me to be his wife, i didnt force him nor did I nag and nag and make him go out and buy the ring and propose. It’s just weird to m like why would people even say certain things that they know they wouldnt say to a woman. We both are getting married for the first time its not just him its a big deal for both us he’s not losing anything nor am I
Post # 42
Strongly agree with all the comments about how in general it’s all sexist, toward everyone, and that men also suffer from gender stereotypes. I don’t know if I really realized this until I met my Fiance. Last week he told me a story about how an ex got drunk and made out with another girl in front of him at a bar. He said he was hurt and felt it was cheating, but he didn’t say anything because “I didn’t want to look gay. I’m supposed to think it’s hot”. I hear SO MANY examples of this from him that it makes me really sad. I know he wants to be “masculine” and I respect that, he still enjoys his power tools and watching baseball, but I’m never going to tell him to stop crying because he’s a boy and as the song says, boys don’t cry. That is BS to me. I told him a few weeks ago that my main goal in our marriage is that our home is always a safe place. I really believe that.
Post # 43
I love this post!!! Yes, I can’t stand all the stereotypes! If you don’t like marriage… don’t get married. It’s pretty simple. I get offended by the images of the women with hunting gear saying they hunted down their man, the ball and chain, all that. I feel like the older I get and the more I learn about stereotypes/sexism, the more offended I get. Well. I also think it’s more offensive when a grown person says these things than a high school kid who has the occasional slip up comment. So glad my fiance isn’t like this!!
Post # 44
- Wedding: County courthouse
I hate the stereotype that Hispanic men shouldn’t “help” raise their children or that they shouldn’t “help” with house work. My mother actually made a comment about my husband changing diapers and feeding my kids when they were babies. She said why does he do those things and that don’t I want the pride of raising our kids on my own. I told her that I’m not a single mother and that we both helped to create our kids. He has responsibility just like I do. My mom is just jealous that my dad never did anything with is as kids. He never changed us…bathed us…fed us…or played with us. Even on his days off. I shut her down quickly. She thinks that I’m a lazy mom if I get “help” from my husband with our kids or house work. Yeah…cuz she was so happy doing everything on her own. She was always pissed off at us and my dad.