(Closed) Do these need written thank-you notes?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
13074 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes, you should always have a handwritten thank you for any gifts received regardless of their cost. 

Post # 4
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I, personally, do not think these gifts warrant a written, mailed thank you card.  I agree that they are token gifts and you are covered with the verbal thank you (and maybe the mention in the email).  I give these kinds of gifts all the time for dinner parties, nights out for birthdays, etc and never would expect a handwritten thank you card.  A verbal acknowlegement is enough. 

Post # 5
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

It’s about the thought behind the gifts than the cost of the gifts. Though not “required,” I think I would love to receive a hand written thank you note if I gave a gift.

Post # 6
Hostess
23599 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree with the previous comment!

Post # 7
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee

Any gift deserves a hand written thank you card. They went out of their way to get together and get you a gift the least you could do is go out of your way to say thank you.

Post # 8
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Any time someone thinks enough to get you a gift (regardless of size/cost), you should think enough to give them a thank you card.

Post # 9
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

They definitely deserve a thank you card.  You can try to find their addresses from common friends or whitepages.com.

Post # 11
Member
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’d rather be criticized for being overly-thankful than not thankful enough!

Post # 12
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

@Mars62312:  Yes! By writing the notes, even if they weren’t expected, you win. (Actually, especially if they weren’t expected and come as a surprise.) You come across as classy and gracious, perhaps exceptionally so.

By not writing the thank you notes, you are in neutral territory at best, but there’s a risk you could really annoy someone – and out of all proportion to the size of the gift, too. If the gift-givers aren’t expecting thank you notes there’s no problem – but if someone is expecting one and they don’t get it, that can really upset people and sometimes they will nurse those wounds for a long, long time. Best to be safe and err on the side of “gracious and classy.”

Post # 13
Member
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i never wrote a hand written thank you card in my life until my bridal shower and then my wedding.  i always say thank you in person, on the phone, whatever. anything else is being a little over the top IMO.  it’s the same with everyone i know.  in fact, the way i tend to thank my friends for something like a birthday gift besides saying thank you, is to get them a gift when their bday rolls around.

Post # 14
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t know about you but who doesn’t love an unexpected card. especially when someone is grateful for something you did… i just think it goes a long way – and more than just thanking them for the gift – thanking them for celebrating this special time in your life, etc is such a nice gesture.

Post # 15
Member
4371 posts
Honey bee

I have a question about this too: If you say thank you in person, do you still need to send a card?

Post # 16
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@SoupyCat:  Yes. A gift should always be followed by a written thank you note.

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