(Closed) Do these sound like friends to you?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

To answer your question:  NO!  These do not sound like friends at all.  It sounds like they’ve been tolerating you and using you all along.  Now that you’re not around as much they don’t have to pretend to like you or be your friend because they don’t need you anymore. 

On a positive note…at least you found out now instead of wasting more time and energy on them.  Go home to your FH everynight knowing you’re going home to love, to someone who appreciates you and wants you around.

Is there someone above your professors you can go to?  The Dean of the department or the president of the school?  It doesn’t sound like your professors are doing much to preserve your quality of an education if you can’t enjoy learning and moving forward because of bullies.

I hope things get better for you soon… HUGS

Post # 4
Member
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Sorry to hear you are going through this. Anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself or excludes you is not a friend, and you are better off without them. Just focus on yourself and your FH–everything else is background. 

Post # 5
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

I’m glad to hear that they have moved on from high school…oh wait..it sounds like they haven’t. That’s pretty pathetic and won’t get them far when real life comes to bite them in the butt.

No they aren’t friends and I wouldn’t continue to try to be friends with them. Make new friends, if you can avoid any more classes with them I would do so.

I’m sorry you have to put up with anything like that. It’s wierd that your professors would let them laugh at you. Totally inappropriate.

 

Post # 6
Member
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

These are not your friends, these are people that you have to hurdle on your way to a better life.  The best revenge on “mean girls” is utter happiness.  Throw your self into your relationship with your FH, find in him your best friend.  You need to find your inner happiness and then you will find out how jealous they really are of you.  When people are hurting on the inside, they make it their mission to make others as miserable as themselves.  Don’t fall for it.  ((HUGS)) to you lady, if you need anything, pm me, I am always around 🙂

Post # 7
Member
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@tksjewelry:

Agreed!  Their lives can’t be so great if they have to be bullies.  They are probably jealous of you.  How many more semesters do you have?  Can you take an elective that will be fun, where you can find other new friends that you enjoy time with.  Forget those HS level loosers. (HUGS).

Post # 8
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

This behavior never stops, I’m sorry to say. In any group, there is always an ‘in crowd’ and if the person in charge doesn’t accept you then everyone else will be like sheep and snub you too. And girls are the worst, although guys do gossip and participate in cliques as well.

Like a PP said, the best revenge is to act like it doesn’t bother you and focus on what does make you happy. I can tell you it works from personal experience. When they realize they aren’t having any success making you feel bad or even left out, they will eventually move on. It’s really hard to act like you’re OK, I know, but trust me it works!

Post # 10
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m so sad for you.  I’m sorry that you are going through this.  Stop talking to them.  Pretend you don’t even see them.  Keep a book on hand at all times so that if you have to be alone with them, you can read and ignore them.

As soon as you start giving them the silent treatment, they will wonder why and start to talk to you.  Don’t be fooled…it is just to lure you back in so they can continue to make fun of you.  If they talk, just answer as simply as possible.  If they ask why you aren’t talking to them, say “What do you mean?”  Once they explain, say “I haven’t noticed that at all.  I’m sorry you feel that way.” Then end the conversation.  These girls aren’t worth your time.

Post # 11
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

They definitely do not sound like friends to me.

As for the people in your class, I experienced that for the first couple semesters I was in college, I learned it’s all in how you carry yourself. I stopped caving in on myself around them, and started walking around like I owned the place and not sparing them a single glance, and it stopped and never happened again.

Friendwise…I’ve lost quite a few in the process. I just started deleting them from my Facebook, it’s amazing how quickly they come around when it seems like you don’t care.

Post # 12
Member
4478 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m sorry about all you’re going through.  It really takes 1 alpha type not to like you, and ppl will follow.  Had something very similar happen recently.  Girls truly can wage psychological warfare.

 

All I can say is ppl do respect outsiders more when the outsiders aren’t trying to gain their approval.  You just can’t win w/some ppl.  Fortunately, you won’t be around these ppl forever.

 

 

Post # 13
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I work at a University.  Call your counseling center and explain that you need an emergency appointment.  They have to see you if you are having a crisis.  Explain that you cannot wait, and that it is related to bullying that is occuring on campus in a class room.

I’m so sorry you are going through this, but please insist that they help you NOW!

Post # 14
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

These people are not your friends. Friends do not treat people this way and you need to drop them and move on.

You are the person responsible for defending yourself. If people are being disrespectful then say something or remove yourself from the situation. 

Post # 15
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@justelope: I completely agree with you.

OP, there is no way that your counseling center is booked up for the entire year.  I work at a medical school and if one of our students comes in for counseling, they get an appointment for that week (guaranteed).  If they want to see someone the same day, we can make it happen by going through the director of student affairs.  Chances are, you’re not speaking to the right person to get in to see a counselor.  PM me if you would like help offline in getting an appointment.  I can help you figure out the correct channels based on your school resources. 

I’ve been following your posts and it makes me sad because you really need the support and I don’t think an internet community is going to be sufficient for you.  You have so many stressors in your life right now, you really need someone “real” to speak to about this.  Let me know if you need some help with this.

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