(Closed) Do we get the parents a gift even if they did not help with the wedding?

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yes, I think it would be a nice gesture.  Have they helped at all other than money-wise?

Post # 4
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

haha me too.  Bump!

Post # 5
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We didn’t, but we are getting them albums after it’s all said and done, months down the road obviously.

Their “gift” was coming to our wedding! LOL. We put them up in OUR house, we fed them, we paid for the whole wedding, etc. It was expensive enough.

Post # 6
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

It’s not really a gift if the giving is contingent upon receiving something in return.

Whether or not they paid for the wedding they did birth and raise the man you’re marrying.  That’s a pretty good present, no?

Post # 7
Member
572 posts
Busy bee

I think it depends on the situation. Personally, i would give my mom a present and call it a day. LOL

Post # 8
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I think that she’s also thinking “where do you draw the line?” – at least I am. 

Post # 10
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

We didn’t do parent gifts but they will be getting albums if I ever see our prefessional pictures!

Post # 11
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t see any personal attack or snarkiness on this board. I’m confused.

Why don’t you just smush something wedding related into their Christmas gift? A photo of the family at the wedding in a nice fram? I think your parents, of all people, will understand and probably not expect a present, knowing your financial situation.

Most parents don’t want gifts from their kids, right? They appreciate them, but they also are like, ‘save your money, we have everything we need’

Or, take your parents out to dinner with your Fiance to a nice steakhouse. Everybody likes nice company.

Post # 12
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@okqueenbee – I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to snark or imply that you’re being insensitive or ungenerous.  I’m sure you’re anything but!

Of course, if you’re paying to fly them in, putting them up in a hotel or otherwise laying out a lot of cash I doubt they will expect anything, let alone something lavish.  A thoughtful card thanking them for being kind, welcoming you to the family, etc. will probably be well-received. 

I’d just be careful to ensure that your Future In-Laws don’t feel as though their inability to contribute (I assume it’s because they can’t, not because they won’t) means they are less welcome or important than other guests or your family.

Post # 13
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

Although our parents are helping with the wedding, our gifts to them will be more of a “thanks for raising us to be the people we are and supporting us,” rather than thanks for helping with the wedding.

Post # 14
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think a little something small would be nice, like a picture framed of you and your hubby with the parents or something sentemental showing them thanks for being there for me all these years kinda thing.  You dont need to do anything too fancy.

Post # 16
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Just think if you can afford it or not and if it’s in your budget. Since none of them has offered to help you guys out, I don’t see them being offended or upset if you don’t spend money on them. They know a wedding is expensive.

What about having a “thank you dinner” at your place for your immediate family? Cook a tenderloin, make a nice salad, etc? Say a nice thank you to them all?

I have trouble buying gifts for people–it’s so hard!–so I try to think of gifts that don’t involve opening anything.

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