(Closed) Do we have to do a unity candle?

posted 9 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
4566 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t know about Catholics, but most mainline protestant denominations don’t require one! We’re definintely not doing one, cause my mom thinks they’re weird.

Post # 4
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

While unity candles are fairly common, I thought they didn’t come from any particular religious tradition.  There is some good info on Wikipedia –

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unity_candle

Some churches actually forbid it.

Another interesting link (for those not so into the ritual) –

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/1908449/posts

Personally, I don’t see us including this in our wedding.  I especially get bothered when the bride and groom blow out their own candles after lighting the larger one.  What message does that send LOL
 

Post # 5
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Unity candles have no religious origin so many churches don’t allow them for that reason. Tons of people skip them and no one misses them.

Post # 6
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You can use sand instead. Or, mix colored water. Or, as one poster just wrote about!, epoxy. Or you can skip this altogether, depending on where and who marries you. Some religions don’t want the candle, some do, some don’t care. If you are going a nonreligious route, you can definitely skip it or make up a symbol of joining on your own. Do what makes you happy! 🙂

Post # 7
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Nope, unity candles are a relatively new and secular tradition.

We’re doing a Blessing of the Hands instead: I have it posted here.

 

Post # 8
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We were considering doing a Blessing of the Hands too Mermaid!  We went with handfasting instead and a sand ceremony.

Post # 9
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think it depends on the church. Our church didn’t allow unity candles because the ceremony doesn’t have a religious meaning and because the candles are a fire hazard.

Post # 10
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Looooooove the blessing of the hands.  jsut reading it makes me tear up!

Post # 11
Member
2718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If you don’t want it you don’t have to have it. We’re doing flowers instead.

Post # 12
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

@bridepower – You don’t have to do anything regardless of how traditional or expected it might be.  Make your ceremony yours and have it reflect who you are as a couple.

Post # 13
Member
350 posts
Helper bee

Nope.  As another poster mentioned, they are not religious in origin.  I refused to do a unity candle because on top of all the other stressors I did not want to worry about accidentally lighting myself on fire.

Post # 14
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

Definitely no! We’re skipping all of the “ritual” type things. No unity candle, no unity sand, etc.! 

Post # 15
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

None of the church weddings I’ve been to have had a unity candle.

Post # 16
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’ve seen religious ceremonies with and without it 🙂 

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