(Closed) Do we invite the groom's brother's new girlfriend? Help!!

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@hannahbellisima:  I think you should invite her.  She’s his girlfriend now, and they should be invited and come together as a social unit/couple.  I understand you feel some loyalty to the ex, but you need to set that aside.  If you don’t want to attract drama, do the right thing.  There’s really no sense in being defiant (not to mention it’s a huge etiquette no-no) out of allegiance to a girl who’s no longer involved with your BIL and his family.  He wants the new girl to come, his family expects the new girl to come, and etiquette suggests people who are a couple should be invited together.  All signs point to, suck it up and invite the girl!  (I know it sucks, especially if you forged a good relationship with the ex, but what can you do?)

Post # 4
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

What a douche.  Sorry, I know it’s your brother.  But really?  Dating his recent ex-girlfriend’s best friend?  How on Earth does he think that will turn out well?

Either way, just send an invite to your brother “plus 1” and let him figure out the drama.  He may not even be dating girl #2 by your wedding.

Post # 5
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You hardly know her at all, and they aren’t engaged or married.. or at the point where they will be soon…

I think you are MORE than safe to not invite her. Especially since she’s late in the game and your invitations are already sent out.

 

Post # 6
Member
7760 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@hannahbellisima:  Invite the new girlfriend. She is the guy’s partner. End of story.

I’ve been there. My brother split up with his long time gf (had been together longer than Darling Husband and I) and immediately took up a new one, a couple of weeks before our wedding. Regardless of circumstances and loyalties, we invited the new gf. The wedding was about the 2nd time I met her. It didn’t matter.

EDIT: And invite her to whole thing. She’s not going to disrupt the ceremony, and it’s rude to split up a couple.

Post # 7
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Invite the new gf. 

Post # 8
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@hannahbellisima:  OP are you only inviting married or engaged couples? If so you do not need to invite her to your wedding.

Post # 9
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think you should invite her if in general you are inviting partners of members of your families and/or friends. Your wedding isn’t a referendum on your loyalties; the invite is no more or less than a recognition that your Future Brother-In-Law and this woman are currently a social unit.

Also, Future Brother-In-Law sounds like an ass. But that’s really not germane to the discussion (sadly).

Post # 10
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Trinisexy2:  I assume not if they were inviting the ex. 

Post # 11
Member
15 posts
Newbee

Ask the brother what he thinks about it? You guys should be close enough for that? No? But in the end it’s your day and it sounds like you don’t want her there. Talk to your husband about it if he’s ok with not inviting her than you know what to do 😉 

 

personally I would invite her for my brother in-law

Post # 12
Member
2708 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you should invite her.  She’s his SO.  Plus, it’s family.  Is it really worth the headache of not inviting her?  What if they end up getting married?  I just think it could create a lot of unnecessary awkward situations.

Post # 13
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2014

When is your wedding?

Post # 14
Member
12249 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would… Just make sure she doesn’t wind up in any important family photos!

Post # 15
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

IMO you should have invited him plus one even if he was single. I believe that all adults in your family should be invited plus one, unless you aren’t giving anyone a plus one. So in that case, she is likely who he would choose to bring, and therefore it’s not that she is invited, but he gets to bring a guest and he chose to bring her. 🙂

Post # 16
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Agree with PPs, definitely invite the new girlfriend, and put your feelings and loyalties towards the ex-girlfriend aside. 

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