Do we need a details card? How to respond to registry questions?

posted 2 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
6022 posts
Bee Keeper

I think just sending the invites are fine. People are adults and can figure it out lol. 

For the registry, just say “Oh we aren’t registered anywhere, just saving up for XYZ.” I too don’t like honeyfund (and gfm, etc) because of the large % they take. Its a genuis business idea, but a rip off for guests AND hosts. 

Post # 3
Member
3958 posts
Honey bee

You don’t need a details card, however, not everyone uses GPS or a smartphone.  And if the directions aren’t obvious (like there is hidden signage or the turn off isn’t obvious) it can be helpful to provide landmarks or additional instructions.

And yes, just continue to say you aren’t registered.  If there is something you’re saving up for, you can sort of mention that.  “Oh, we didn’t register because we’ve been living together for a few years and are pretty much set on small household stuff.  Right now we’ve been focusing on saving up for a downpayment/a new car/new furniture/an emergency fund/new siding on the house/etc.”

Post # 4
Member
9072 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would just double check that google sends you to the right place. TWICE now we’ve had it where it was totally off for the location or the correct way to get there. The first one we drove around in circles for half an hour before calling someone and finding out we were in the wrong place. And for SIL’s wedding it sent us on this old dirt road in the back of the winery fields. There were literally vultures eating a carcass! hahaha

Post # 5
Member
2343 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t think a details card makes sense in your situation… save a bit of money on printing and postage!

 

Post # 6
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I say it depends on the specifics of your venue. Is the venue large, and will they know where to go once there? I did NOT include any details but I wish I did. People found my venue just fine but spent 45+ minutes driving around the venue trying to find the ceremony site since the signs were WAY too small to read. I wish I included a map of the actual venue saying park here, take shuttle to ceremony here, reception here, etc. We started 30 minutes late and did not get that time back at the end, so the reception I paid for was cut short on my dime!!

In terms of the registry, it really depends on your family. We had a home and he lived with me for years already so we intended on not registering, but my family basically made me. We got too many questions like you, and my mom essentially said we HAD to register for my aunts and uncles. I’m glad I did though because there are always things we could use around the house! One was the Kitchen Aid mixer – something we didn’t need per say, but at close to $500 it is not a gadget we would have bought ourselves. 

Post # 7
Member
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Personally, since you don’t have a website, I would resend the accomodations. If someone lost the original or didn’t book the first time, it would be nice to have a reminder.  

I agree with PP to make sure google, waze, apple maps, etc. all send you to the right place. If that is the case and its not hidden, then you don’t need directions.

And for the registry, just continue to say “We aren’t registered, but we are saving up for xxx”. That way people will get the hint, or they may feel better getting you a giftcard. 

Post # 7
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

ohdarling :  Why don’t you have a wedding website? They are free and really useful. That way if I forget the date/time/location of your wedding I can google it and quickly find the answer. 

Maybe it’s just me, but if someone told me they didn’t have a registry, I would assume they didn’t really want or need gifts? I would probably still give cash, but less than usual.

I just posted this on another thread, but just because you register for a bunch of gifts doesn’t mean you need to keep all of them. Register at a store you frequently shop at and return gifts you don’t really need for store credit. Older generations especially really like buying traditional wedding gifts off a registry. 

Post # 10
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

There are all kinds of things you can put on your wedding website – pictures of you and your fiancé, the story of how you got engaged, a list of who is in your bridal party, your wedding menu, where guests can stay overnight, things to do near your venue, where you are going on your honeymoon, a link to your registry, etc. Basically anything related to your relationship, engagement, ceremony, wedding or honeymoon is fair game. 

 

ohdarling :  

Post # 11
Member
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

ohdarling :   princessandthepear :  Agreed. The website has all kinds of information, and TBH, I constantly look at people’s websites before going to a wedding. I double check times, dates and directions. I also double check accomodations as I usually book and forget about it! We were attending an outdoor ceremony this fall and I double checked the website as it was raining when we were getting ready. The couple had left a message that the rain was supposed to clear up so they were going for it! It was a quick and easy place to announce that. Plus I just love seeing all the pictures of the couple! 

On our website we have a lot of information for people to do while they stay here. We have restaurant recommendations for lunch and breakfast, little things for kids to see and do, and breweries, bars, etc. for grown ups to hang out at. We will also be posting where we will be each night for the “after parties”. We also have the accomodations, all of our engagement pictures so friends and family could see them, transportation info (we have a shuttle going from the hotel to the reception) and reception info (valet parking, timing, etc.). Wedding websites are insanely helpful. 

Post # 12
Member
2840 posts
Sugar bee

I agree you should double check the directions with google maps! when you punch in the address for the place we had our wedding it shows directions to a completely different place. We had to expressly put in our directions DO NOT USE GOOGLE MAPS. But we just put that info on our wedding website, we didn’t have an insert. 

And I would stick with not registering. You don’t need to expressly tell people that you want cash and it may put some people off. People that like to give gifts will just pick something, and everyone else will assume you want cash. Personally i’d prefer getting 100% of it via cheque, rather than paying some of it to a website for no reason. 

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