(Closed) Do we need to invite our ceremony helpers?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do we need to invite these people?
    Yes. All three. : (8 votes)
    47 %
    No, it's not necessary. : (4 votes)
    24 %
    Your decision! It won't be rude either way. : (4 votes)
    24 %
    Other. See below. : (1 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Are you paying them? If so, I think it’s okay not to invite them. If they’re not charging you and/or you have a relationship through the church, I’d invite them

    Post # 5
    Member
    11351 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I would invite all three of them (and, if they are married, engaged, or living with someone, their spouses/fiances/etc.) If anyone does not want to attend, he or she is able politely to decline your kind invitation.

    ETA:  I invited three of my pastors and their spouses and five singers and musicians, four of whom have spouses.

    Post # 6
    Member
    7904 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    You are supposed to invite the officiant (and spouse), but they usually decline.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I don’t think you HAVE TO invite them, but it would be a nice gesture.

    Post # 9
    Member
    11351 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    @mrsSonthebeach:  That likely depends on the officiant and his or her relationship with those being married. My Darling Husband is a pastor, and he and I have attended the reception of every couple he has married since he and I have been married.

    Post # 11
    Member
    7904 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    @Brielle:  Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding at which the officiant stayed, and I have some extremely relgious friends who are very active in their church. My pastor is close to my dad and the reception immediately followed the ceremony on site, and he didn’t stay. 

    To the OP, I don’t think you need to invite the other people, but you could if you wanted. Usually–and it might depend on the church–your “fee/(mandatory) donation” pays for use of the site and for the musicians and coordinator, but no money goes directly to the pastor. He accepts to marry you as part of his job in general (for which of course he is compensated in general), but rarely does he get a extra for providing that specific service. The musicians will get paid directly for that event, so I don’t think you need to invite them.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2699 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Is this more common in the US? I don’t think they’re ever invited here… Sorry to threadjack! Just curious..

    Post # 13
    Member
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    We invited our pastor and his wife (who did come), but not our guitarist who played during our ceremony.

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