(Closed) Do we REALLY need to invite the officiant???

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@hgail:

I really don’t think it’s necessary. They won’t know anyone there anyway since it’s not the pastor of a “family church” you all belong to. I think a tip would suffice, if that! I could be wrong and this could be gauche but especially in a small reception, I just don’t think inviting the officiant is something you need to worry about.

Post # 4
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If it’s not someone you are close to, I say no.  In fact, we just hired our officiant (a retired Reverand) and we were considering the same thing as you because we really enjoyed talking to him.  The truth is, I think even he considers himself “just a vendor.” We sort of felt him out regarding how long he typically hangs around after the ceremony…he told us that after all the paperwork is signed he usually takes off.  Now, if it is the priest or rabbi you’ve know all your life I think it’s polite to invite them to the wedding.  I say no in your case.

Post # 5
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i would extend a courtesy invite. if the officiant has no relationship to you, they almost always decline. it’s normal to pay vendor meals though.

Post # 6
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree with @ohheavenlyday

Post # 8
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We’re having an officiant come out to our venue but we’re not inviting them to the rest of the celebrations, the officiant doesn’t know anyone there and doesn’t expect an invitation. We’ll pay them the fee and when the ceremony is over he/she will go home.

Post # 9
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We found our officiant through a company, and did not invite him.  I think it’s more traditional to extend the invite if it’s an officiant you know well (e.g. you attend a church and it’s your reverend).  I wouldn’t worry about it!

Post # 10
Member
4583 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t recall ever seeing the officiant at a wedding reception. Ours will be invited because we’re hoping his father will officiate. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree that you do not need to extend an invite to the officiant unless they are from your church that you attend regularly. We are paying $425 for an officiant from a local Unitarian Church that we will only meet once before the wedding and I do not plan to pay extra for the plate. On the other hand, I do expect to pay for the photographer and DJ plates, but that is also because they will be working the entire day with us and I can’t let them starve! I guess it’s your call and comfort level.

Post # 12
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

We invited ours, and he and his wife came and danced the night away 🙂 Granted, he is a family friend, so our circumstance was different.

However in your case, I would still send him a courtesy invitation – considering you are having such an intimate wedding and he won’t know anyone, chances are very good he will just decline.

Post # 14
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

not unless you have a relationship with them outside of the wedidng (i.e. your pastor)

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