(Closed) Do we send a thank-you card now or later? Help please (:

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@sugarpea:  I’d send it after you picked it up so you can inspect it and can truly gush about it, hehe. I wrote thank you’s immediately upon receiving a gift or card so I wouldn’t have so many to write out later, but in your case because it is a physical gift, I would wait until you’ve had a chance to see it, even if you already know what color it is or whatever.

Post # 4
2947 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think you can wait until you actually have picked it up. It sounds like it will only be a few days or weeks difference, and I’m sure your aunt won’t mind.  Espeically if your wedding is in June. 

Post # 5
46408 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sugarpea:  I would send an informal note now explaining that you have been notified of the gift by the store. It’s always reassuring for gift givers to know that the gift has arrived (even if it has yet to be picked up).If you wait a month, she might think there was a problem of some sort.

I would thank her for the gift and mention that you will be picking it up on your next trip to the city.

After the wedding, I would send another note.


Post # 6
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2005

@sugarpea:  What a pretty pattern! I’m super excited about our china as well. We registered for the Kate Spade New York Larabee Road pattern and I am just in love! I cannot wait to have it all together!

We recived a few peices recently too and I just sent one Thank-You card when I received it that was just short and sweet saying

“Thanks you so much for the beautiful serving bowl. I cannot wait to use it! Look forward to seeing you at the wedding”

just so they knew it arrived and how lovely it was and I plan to send another Thank-You card after the wedding as well.  

After you pick it up you should send one thank-you note and then another after the wedding 🙂 

I’m of the opinion that you can never say thanks too many times and over-kill is better than being thought rude or ungrateful! 

Post # 7
1699 posts
Bumble bee

@sugarpea:  Send the thank-you note right away. The china has already become your property, even though you have not physically taken receipt; and thank-you notes communicate the most gratitude if they are written in the full bloom of your surprise and pleasure at the gift.

We members of the Aunt Mafia are very big on good china as wedding gifts, since we are labouring under the impression that you will think fondly of us every time you use it, and use it at every special occasion for the next sixty years or so. I give my family members soup tureens, and I give friends teapots. And if they forget who gave it to them, or exchange it for cash so that they can go to Las Vegas, I don’t want to hear about it.

If you feel inclined to send another note when you pick it up, or the first time you actually use it, or five years from now when you realize how special it is to have had a platter for your Thanksgiving Turkey for the last five years, so much the better. And best of all would be to invite your Auntie over for a home-cooked meal served on your good china.

Post # 8
8689 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

do you talk to her regularly?  i would mention you got a call to pick up the stuff and thank her for it then say you won’t be able to pick it up until next month but look forward to receiving.  when you actually have it in hand, send the formal thank you note.


Post # 11
3082 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@sugarpea:  yes they are. I registered for the larabee dot towels & wine glasses. I love polka dots. If I was registering for china I probably would have registered for the one you did or the larabee road. 

Post # 12
2604 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@sugarpea:  I don’t think there’s any wrong choice here except I don’t think you should fib and say you’ve already picked up the china when you haven’t. If you wanted to be extra polite you could send a thank you now and one after you pick it up but that’s not required. 

I’m going to say send it now so your Aunt knows the store has contacted you, otherwise she might be nervous wondering, OR she has been notified that you have so prompt thanks are in order. 

Post # 13
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Yes, send it now.  You know what the pattern looks like and you don’t need the pieces in your hands to know they’re what you want.  Plus, as someone who’s given many gifts and NOT received thank you cards, I’m always wondering if the gifts even arrived….so it would give me peace of mind to know that the store didn’t screw up and you were notified that the gift arrived!

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