Post # 1
We never had a formal engagement, started planning a wedding for July 6, and then eloped in mid-September. We were still going to go ahead with the July wedding, but my husband is likely deploying in February. With that in mind, we’ve decided to have a very small (mostly family) wedding in January instead of July.
Do we send out announcements to extended family and friends that we got married (they would have been invited to the July 6 wedding)? Is that tacky?
Post # 3
Assuming the January event will not comprise of these people – I’d send out announcements. If I was a friend and found out about the January event, I would feel left out.
Post # 4
I don’t really understand the timeline here. To clarify:
You eloped in September.
You plan on a second ceremony in January for close family.
In February your Fiance will likely be deployed.
You are planning on a third large ceremony in July.
This sounds awfully confusing. Why not just do the ceremony in July? Or is it off because of the deployment? If it’s off because of the deployment then send out announcements. If not I wouldn’t.
Post # 5
We are planning to do almost the same thing since my fiance is also miitary. We are looking to use our elopement/wedding pics for our annoucement/ save the date for our celebration on our 1 year.. i dont think its tacky at all.
Post # 6
@AdriannaJean: We got married in September and were planning a July wedding for family and friends. However, my fiance will likely be deploying in February 2013 and will be overseas for at least nine months, missing the July date. Because of that, we’ve decided to have a small mainly family ceremony in January and scrap the July date.
Post # 7
@oracle: The only people invited to the January event will be immediate family and a few (like four) friends we consider family. His family is West Coast. My family is Mid-Atlantic. We’re in Colorado, so most of our extended families and friends weren’t going to travel that far, anyway.
Post # 8
I think sending an announcement is the appropriate thing to do. I think people are fairly understanding of unusual situations for military. They are less understanding of finding out second hand or in an inpersonal way.
Post # 9
Ok yes, in that case then send announcements. But perhaps do so after the January one?
Post # 10
Strictly from an Etiquette Perspective…
You send out Marriage Annoucements to tell Friends & Family that you have gotten married, these are a nice formal way of telling folks… “Hey we eloped… and got married” (and from that perspective you only get ONE KICK AT THE CAN so to speak)
You can do whatever you wish in regards to having additional ceremonies afterwards… BUT it wouldn’t be regarded as a Wedding / Marriage Ceremony … it would officially be a Vow Renewal.
And so, those types of things can be as BIG or little, Formal or informal as you wish. Just a small family ceremony, or a bigger event with all the trimmings and a reception (like I think you had originally imagined for July)
BUT in the case of a bigger all the trimmings ceremony… you’ll want any printed Invites to clearly say that it is a “Wedding Celebration / Vow Renewal” (and not a Wedding)
So ya you can do BOTH … send out Marriage Annoucements now… and Invites to your Wedding Celebration / Vow Renewal later… just make sure that you label them correctly / call them what they are (January’s event is not a Wedding Ceremony)
And NO, there is no “tacky” aspect of having a large celebration after the fact… these have been traditionally called “Back Home Receptions” and have been taking place for eons, after a couple chooses to Elope and Marry elsewhere.
Hope this helps,
Post # 11
That’s not tacky at all! It will make people feel included and let them know that they were thought of. It’s much, much better than just finding out.
Not sending something would be the equivalent of someone turning up to a party with a baby in their arms and you didn’t even know that they were pregnant!