(Closed) Do we still invite her?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@BetterSherm:  Sounds like you really don’t care for her much at all if inviting her is biting the bullet. So I say, “no” and I would personally correct her the next time she brought it up or wait for her to ask for her invitation and then explain.  She may not stay “friends” after that if she thought she was close enough to you to be invited only to find out you didn’t feel the same. She’ll be embarrassed for sure.

Post # 4
Member
4326 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It sounds like she starting talking about going to your wedding before she began dating the invited guy, and you didn’t shut her down then, so I think at this point, the only polite thing to do is invite her –  you missed your chance to avoid inviting her awhile back.

 

 

Post # 5
Hostess
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s rude on HER part to assume she was invited to your wedding. Ultimately it is your call. She seems like a “meh” friend; ultimately it is up to you when deciding your guestlist. If she brings it up again, you can always demurely talk about guestlist constraints or that you guys are thinking of having a smaller wedding.

Post # 6
Member
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You definitely don’t have to invite her. I wouldn’t.

Post # 7
Member
12953 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Did you do anything to downplay her inviting herself to the wedding, or to suggest that she would be invited?  If you ever said anything about wanting her there, or “we can’t wait to celebrate with you” or any of that, I think you might be stuck.

Would you be willing to ask your invited friend if he would feel uncomfortable with her there?  That might make it a bit easier to decide, if he would hate seeing her there (even if they remain friendly).

Post # 9
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

Don’t invite her; though, if she and the ex are on good terms, maybe he’ll have her as his +1 anyhow.

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