(Closed) Do we still send an invite to guests who have already declined to attend??

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would still send the invite. Maybe instead of the RSVP card just include a little note that says something like “We know you can’t come, but let’s get together soon after the wedding!”

Post # 4
2605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@likelimeade:  Good idea… just a little hand written card along those lines.

Post # 5
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m planning on sending invites even though something similar happened to me. I basically discussed it with my FH and we decided to send them anyway because there is always a chance that something may change if your worried it seems like your fishing for gifts give them a call and ask if they still want an invite they might still be expecting one especially if they are old fashioned!


Post # 6
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

We still sent invites to people who had said they can’t come. For 1) we wanted them to be formally invited and 2) you never know if their situation has changed and they can now attend.

Post # 7
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think only send it if you want. I like the little note idea. I also think some family members although lets be honest probably only the older family members would like it as a keepsake

Post # 8
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Send them, that’s what we did. I knew my cousin wasn’t going to be able to attend his new bride is due a month after our wedding date – no ways she’s gonna travel or that that would change. But it shows you still thinking of them and that they would want to be there. If I received an invite to a wedding that I knew I couldn’t attend I wouldn’t necessarily think that the couple was fishing for gifts (depending on the couple and other factors!).

Post # 9
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Situations could always change, so it can’t hurt to send an invite.

Post # 11
4485 posts
Honey bee

A save the date is not a set-in-stone invite that people reply to. But they are so new that many folks have no clue how they work. Send an invite anyway because it lets them know they are still welcome, and no one knows that far ahead that they can’t attend.

Post # 12
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013



“We know you can’t come, but let’s get together soon after the wedding!”

But maybe you could include this afterwards to cover your bases-

“If your plans change, we would love to have you. Just let us know by (RSVP Date)”

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