(Closed) Do we wait? Any thoughts appreciated.

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I think go ahead, especially if you have been waiting for so long. If you want to get married ASAP wouldn’t your wedding fall way before theirs giving them plenty of time to have their moment?

Post # 4
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I don’t think people should put life plans on hold for others. Your wedding would be over before the momentum for your brother’s wedding. Plus your brother and his fiancé will understand that your wedding is nothing like theirs – aka there won’t be two 200 people affairs with all the trimmings that come with that – which is usually the source of most tension and issues. 

Post # 5
2753 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I agree with PPs about timing and size being so different for both weddings as to not be an issue. Ooo, what about a sweet NYE proposal?

Post # 6
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@HisMoon:  +1 NYE proposal sounds awesome! Then it’s in a completely different year! lol

Post # 7
3588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@givemecouture:  I’ve been following your waiting saga.

For god’s sake, go on! Move forward! Your small spring wedding will not interfere with their bigger events.

Post # 8
6222 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I would wait until new years and then do what you want

Post # 9
3267 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t understand why when he heard that your brother was proposing he didn’t pipe up with “that’s cool, because I am proposing to XXXXXXXX on Christmas Eve” 

Get engaged when it is convinient for YOU to do so. 

People have infinite amounts of love in them.  No one will have to take love away from your brother to be happy for you. 

Post # 11
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Luayne:  +1  NYE!!


I think that your bf sounds like a great guy for taking your brother’s feelings into consideration but I don’t think that he needs to put off a proposal for too long. Your weddings are going to be so much different I don’t think you’ll be stealing any one’s thunder by getting married in the spring.

Post # 12
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think a NYE proposal would be incredibly romantic! 

Post # 13
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

OH wow your soon to be Fiance sounds great, thinking of your brother and all .. so nice!  I think you guys move ahead.  You’re doing small and something that suits you all.  NYE won’t steal their thunder at all!!

Post # 14
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Yep, don’t wait too long to go ahead with your own plans!  Congrats in advance!

Post # 15
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@givemecouture:  I personally don’t think it’s stealing someone’s thunder to share good news…BUT, I have to ask, is your brother or his gf the jealous “You’re stealing my thunder” type of person?  When my ex-husband and I decided to tell his family we were engaged, it happened to be on the same day his sister announced she was pregnant.  My ex wanted to announce our good news too, and although his sister faked being happy, she was so angry that she didn’t even end up coming to our wedding (with this stupid excuse that she didn’t want to “take away attention from the bride” – as if anyone cares about the 4-months pregnant sister when two other people are getitng married??).  Anyway, his parents were really crushed and it was a really difficult time for everyone.

Honestly, I think you have wonderful and exciting news and you are doing a low-key wedding that you can have in the spring and then there will be plenty of time for your brother and his gf to have the spotlight.  But if you have any doubts about how they will take the news and you are willing to wait, maybe that’s worth thinking about.  I’d just hate for your family to get upset as my (now former) family did.  🙁

P.S.  Congrats on your almost-engagement!  As a second-time bride myself, I know how wonderful it is to find the TRUE love of your life!

Post # 16
628 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@givemecouture:  I agree with the other posters…it sounds like your brother’s event is his first and that it will be planned to reflect that whereas you really know what you want and just want to be a wife. I don’t think your smaller plans will steal anybody’s thunder this coming year, or if they wait until 2014, that year either. Show your SO/FI to be this thread, tell him we all think he’s wonderful for taking your brother into consideration, but that the majority of bees think that’s it’s okay to go ahead with plans!

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