Do you actually have to ask your dad to give you away?

posted 5 months ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
5348 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Totally depends on your relationship with your dad, it’s always better to be clear and direct thought rather than making assumptions and being disappointed. 

Post # 3
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

I would just confirm. “And Dad of course you will be giving me away”

Post # 4
Member
899 posts
Busy bee

I just told my dad., “ you will be walking me down the aisle and giving me awa7” and he probably said “of course” or something like that 

Post # 5
Member
9609 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I never said anything to my dad about it, it was just assumed and didn’t need to be said. 

It probably depends on your relationship with your father though.

Post # 6
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I just told him like randomly when we were talking about the time table of things, that he would walk me down the “aisle”, because in our culture it is not a must, but I wanted it to be that way. Although, it was not in the church, as we only had a civil ceremony outdoors, but the chairs nevertheless built some kind of aisle. And he was walking me down it and gave me away haha. So don’t make it complicated. If you have a good relationship with your father, I think that he already supposes that he’s going to do it, but you could just say something like: You walk me down the aisle, right?

Post # 7
Member
3457 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

islajay :  I don’t think you do. My father is dead, but I have a step father who has always expected me to think of him as a dad  (even though I was an adult when he married my mom). At any rate, he poutily informed me at some point that he was waiting to be asked to walk me down the aisle. I told him I don’t think that’s a thing. If you are my father-figure, walking me down the aisle is a given. If not, and you require a formal request, I’d honestly just as soon ask someone else. I never said or heard anymore about it. He  just magically appeared in the bridal staging area when I arrived at the venue. Fine by me. Had it been my actual father, this never would have come up. Of course he’d walk me down the aisle.

Post # 8
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

 I’m planning on asking my dad in a cute, sweet way. He’s secretly sentimental and we were distant for a few years. I think it’s a memory he would really cherish on top of walking me.

Post # 9
Member
1921 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

islajay :  I agree with PPs that it depends on your relationship. My dad asked if he would be giving me away, because I’d always said I didn’t want him to. We had a really rough relationship growing up and to this day we’re not close. I did have him walk me down the aisle, in the interest of avoiding questions, drama, and having people assume or know more about our relationship than I’d like. I also had a father/daughter dance, even though I never wanted that growing up either. In the end, I’m glad I was able to put aside our history for that day. 

If we had had a normal father/daughter relationship, he wouldn’t have asked if he could, and it would have been assumed. Or, if I was close to him, I might have done a cutesy gift package with something like, “For when you walk me down the aisle.” I did actually get my dad socks to wear the day of that were personalized with Father of the Bride on them. You could use something like that, if you want to formally ask him. 

Post # 10
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2020 - Germany

I agree with PP, totally depends on the relationships in your family. I made a point of “officially” asking my dad (just over the phone) if he’d walk me down the aisle. I knew he wouldn’t assume he was going to be asked because my sister asked our grandad to walk with her in her wedding. He said he’d be honoured and that was that 🙂 

Post # 11
Member
1450 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I never thought about this! I don’t think I ever did ask my dad officially, but it was always assumed that was his role, and he did!

Post # 12
Member
1688 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I never formally asked my father, no. It’s been understood that he would do it from the second I was born, lol!

Post # 13
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

That is a super archaic tradition. You can ask anyone to give you away it does not have to be your father. I am personally only walking myself. I told people that when or if I am asked who gives this bride away… I want to say MYSELF ahah because I found my fiance and we fell in love and I made this journey to him myself. But I know a lot of people have someone walk down the aisle with them because it sort of signifies people on this journey or who have helped you on this journey to a new chapter of your life. I think though if you are set on someone walking you then it would be cute to ask 🙂 

Post # 14
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee

I love my parents equally and wanted to honor them equally, so they both walked me down the aisle. I didn’t see it as them “giving” me to my husband, but as our last walk together before I formed my new family.

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