(Closed) Do you and SO have an “arrangement” for family time at the Holidays?

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

My in-laws made plans for their Thanksgiving and Christmas and never involved us in the planning or invited us to come. (We’d have to buy tickets and stuff.)

Is that weird?

So, it looks like we’re celebrating alone at home. We don’t have any family within 20 hours. I invited a few friends but they all cancelled for one reason or another (lame.)

Post # 33
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Our plans always kind of change at the last minute, except for where we eat dinner. Thanksgiving will be at his family and Christmas will be with mine. Our families live 20 minutes apart so we always stop and see the other for a bit at some point during the day. I’m not sure how things will change next year when we’re in our own home and we have room to do holidays. Personally, I would rather host both and have everyone over than going to different families each time. 

Post # 34
565 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

we don’t have an arrangment, really, but my DH is not close to his family at all, and i am very close to mine, so we’ll probably spend most holidays with my family, unless he requets he wants to go see his family, i would happily agree (i wish he were closer to his family).  but i doubt that would happen.

Post # 35
13094 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Our familys all live far apart – we’re 16 hours from my family, 13 hours from DH’s family, and our familys are 12 hours from each other.  So for any given holiday, we can only spend time with one side of the family.

We’ve decided to alternate holidays/years.  So this year we’re doing Thanksgiving with my family and X-mas with DH’s family.  Then next year we’ll do Thanksgiving with DH’s family and X-mas with mine.  Seemed like a pretty good solution to us!

Post # 36
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

we are lucky to have both our rents live 5 min apart. we also only live 20 minutes away. (thanks to my parents moving back home last year from out of state)

last year, we had thanksgiving together… my extended family + ILs (their extended family is 1.5 hours away and they celebrate christmas together and do tday individually)…

this year, we will do a tday lunch with ILs bcuz Mother-In-Law has to work on black friday.

then a late tday dinner with my family at our house (my extended family all live within 20 min)

christmas eve is always for just us. christmas morning/mass/bfast with the ILs. christmas afternoon with my rents and brother. christmas dinner with my extended family. wknd after christmas we drive up north with ILs to have dinner with his extended family.


Post # 37
227 posts
Helper bee

For Thanksgiving, which is in October here in Canada, woot, we do Sunday dinner with my parents and Monday dinner with his family. Although this year, my parents went to the East Coast to see my sister, so we only saw his family.

We decided last Christmas that we will alternate each year, so that we spend Christmas Day with one set of family and Boxing Day (the 26th) with the other. I want to spend quality time with each set of parents not spend all day driving around, and they have agreed that this is fair. Besides, I’m a non-practising Jew and he’s a non-practising Orthodox Christian, which means no one gets dibs on Christmas day as the 25th! 😉 It was easier than I thought it would be to get the parents on board!

This year is Christmas Day with my family which I’m really excited about, should be lots of fun – Last year we spent Christmas day with his parents. I’m hoping that once we have a house, we can just have everyone over to our place! But that will be difficult with siblings.. hahaha boo holidays!

Post # 38
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Yes.  Both of our immediate families are small.  Both DH and I only have one sibling each.  My brother is no longer married, so he comes with his two kids if he has them that holiday.  My SIL has a boyfriend, so he comes.  Both sets of parents always come, too. 

We have a big, comfortable home with a large dining room, so we host Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter.  We don’t mind it because we don’t have to haul out from place to place.  It’s been this way since we bought our house and it’s fine with me.  I’m glad that I don’t have to leave my cozy house for the holidays!  What’s nice is that everyone helps out.  We do the main course and dessert and everyone brings side dishes. 

I am envious of you Americans who have Thanksgiving this week!  We had ours last month and my mouth is watering for turkey and the trimmings hearing about your Thanksgiving! 

Post # 39
7691 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

This year we are doing Thanksgiving at DHs family and we will do Christmas with my parents. DH is Jewish so they dont do Christmas. You would think we would do always Thanksgiving with his fam and always Christmas with mine but I just cant imagine always giving up Thanksgiving with my family yet! So we are just going to go year by year and see what happens. Last year we did both Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family (my parents are divorced though so there is still some splitting up) because we couldnt afford to travel for Thanksgiving!

Post # 40
289 posts
Helper bee

P and I currently live in our hometown. Holidays are always a little stressful because we come from such different families. P is one of six siblings, most of which are already married and have young children of their own. Most, if not all of his extended family live no more than an hour away. I’m one of two daughters. While my parents are also here in town, all of our extended family lives on the other side of the country. If P and I were to not make it to a holiday function with his family, there would still be about 5,986 family memebers present. However, my absence would be a pretty hard hit for my own little family.

This year, we’re doing Thanksgiving dinner with P’s immediate family the evening before Thanksgiving. We’re having brunch with his extended family on Thanksgiving morning and dinner with my family Thanksgiving afternoon/evening. We plan on doing Christmas Eve dinner with my family, and going to Midnight Mass with his. Christmas morning will be split between the two families, Christmas lunch will be with his, and Christmas dinner will be with mine. Phew. That’s a lot of food.

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