(Closed) Do you and your FI have an educational "gap?"

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 152
1218 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I have a Bachelor of Arts and I’m a semester away from finishing my Masters degree in primary teaching. Fiance started a Bachelor of Information Technology last year at age 29.

His parents don’t have tertiary degrees- I don’t think his dad even finished high school. He was always told that he should join the army because university was a waste of time. My parents would probably have disowned me if I didn’t go to uni.

Post # 153
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

In terms of sheer educational level, no.  We both have Bachelor’s degrees.  However, our degrees vary greatly.  I am an engineer and he’s a social worker.  It’s strange how we’re polar opposites in some ways and totally alike in many others, but somehow it works.  Eventually, one or both of us are probably going to go back for a Master’s, but idk if or when that’s gonna happen.

Post # 154
23592 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Darling Husband has a college degree, and I went through a Masters and Doctorate after we graduated college.  We don’t notice the gap at all – most days, we notice the “out in the real world” gap between him and me.  Pretty much, I was in school so long that working in the real world was a much later shock to me than him (and many of our friends) if that makes sense. πŸ™‚

Post # 155
1002 posts
Bumble bee

Yep.  I have a BA, will be starting my MA program in fall of 2014 (waiting for the next round of openings so I can apply).  My partner has a GED (earned when he was in his mid-teens) and was homeschooled.  However, he is extremely intelligent – he just never learned to handle the “classroom setting,” due to the homeschooling.  He has expressed an interest in pursuing some college, but hasn’t decided on a program of study.

Post # 156
5 posts

We’re both country folk but while my family pushed me to pursue an education (Bachelor in Business majoring in Financial Planning; soon to be followed by an MBA) SO’s didn’t. He is extremely intelligent though and has a high mechanical aptitude, so I could see him doing engineering if he wanted to go to university But as he has said, there’s no point. He loves his job, does it well and knows the people plus having an age gap (he is 26 and Ive just turned 19) he feels it to be impossible as he would like kids before he is 30 and with me being the breadwinner and doing uni full time he Just feels that he wouldn’t have time for it even though we have discussed the possibility of deferring. 

Post # 157
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

We have a gap in that he is working on his Masters, while I just have a BA. I do plan to go back for my Masters in a year or two, so it might even out (unless he goes for his Ph.D. which is possible!).

I don’t think it matters that much though what degrees you have… sure they can lead to a better job, but in today’s society where just about everyone is going to college, I don’t feel that it is really that much of a marker of intellect. I do think it is a marker of knowledge you are exposed to, and that can completely shape your world view.

Post # 158
2153 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

There’s somewhat of a gap…I have a MS ED, Fiance has a Bachelors in Business Administration. He would like to get an MBA after the wedding.

Post # 159
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Big gap. My SO has a Bachelor’s and is continuing in another field for another bachelor’s. I have about 2 semesters of college. I make way more than he does, but once he complete’s this second bchelor’s that might not be the case.

He’s far smarter in some ways, and I am far smarter when it comes to life in general. It works well though, we compliment each other.

Post # 160
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Nope.  I’m finishing up a doctorate and he got half way through his BS and decided it wasn’t for him anymore!  He does have a great career though and is looking into enrolling into a Six Sigma course.

Post # 161
3563 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I have a BS in Biology, and Fiance has a BA in Computer Programming and is finishing his BA in Game Sim and Design.  The only “gap” we notice is that his job market is better and pays slightly more in an entry level position.  He also is able to do things on the side, like design websites for people, to make more money. I’m pretty much stuck, unless I go back to school for a MA. 

As far as intellect goes, I don’t understand half of what he’s talking about when it comes to making a video game or computer program, but I have had to explain to him some of the scientific jokes on Big Bang Theory! LOL

Post # 162
45 posts
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’ve got a college diploma; am working on my B.A., and aspiring to do my Masters. I have a full-time government job.

Fiance is in construction. He did a year of college – and failed 2 courses. “Book” learning isn’t for him.

I’m okay with that.

Post # 163
3 posts

I have a BS in Political Science and my SO has a HS Diploma and went to Trade School. He’s definitely not the college type.

Post # 164
4 posts
  • Wedding: November 2013

@MrsPanda99:  I have a Masters and I am considering getting my DOC πŸ™‚ Phd- while my Fiance dropped out of college his first year.  He has a great career and has no insecurities about his education.  He is extremely smart and the only time our educational gap shows up is when he;s teasing me about it.  When we watch Jeopardy and I get an answer wrong he’ll comment, “Oh, that’s what a 2 degrees will get you!”.  I don’t pay him any mind.  When it comes time for us to file something or make complicated phone calls and whatnot- I do all the heavy lifting.  We play to each other strengths.  It’s not a big deal.  Honestly, I think he’s the smartest one- he was able to get into a really good career that he’s passionate about without the student loan debt!

Post # 165
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

On paper, there’s a gap but in reality, there isn’t. I have my Master’s and got both my undergrad and grad degrees at public universities. OTOH, SO went to an Ivy league school, got a bachelor’s degree there, and is in a highly specialized field where higher education is not really valued in the sense that many of his peers and industry leaders don’t have anything beyond a high school diploma. We like being that annoying couple who says to one another “you’re sooo smart!”, “no you’re smarter!”, and “no, you are!” ad nauseum. I know how annoying that is. πŸ˜‰

Post # 166
696 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Equal for us, too. I have my BA in English (I’m an associate editor for a B2B tech publishing company), while my fiance has his BA in Theater (he’s a team leader for annuity operations for a investments company — but uses his theater background in his management style every day!).


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