(Closed) Do you and your FI have an educational "gap?"

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 227
Member
4304 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have 2 associate degrees, a bachelor’s degree and working on a master’s, maybe doing another.  I have a paralegal certificate and am taking the PHR in a week.

He has a totally different education and background.  He has certificates in many things and basically like a certificate in Auto Body & Refinishing.  So of course, in the D, he makes way more money than I do.  Crazy.

He’s good at what he does though — anyone seen a new Dodge Viper ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 228
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

i have a Masters Degree and my husband only went to community college and only took a few classes.  I never “feel” a difference at all.  Opposites attract.

Post # 229
Member
3099 posts
Sugar bee

@MrsPanda99:  All our parents have a Masters Degree (plus my dad has a PhD) and both DH and I have a Masters.  I think an educational gap would be difficult, but I don’t know from experience.

Post # 230
Member
4045 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

After I graduate in December, we’ll both be even with a bachelor’s… although he did complete a few months of a PhD before. I think we will both go back and get a master’s in the next 5 or so years though.

I’ve always done better in school than him – I was my HS valedictorian and will graduate Magna Cum Laude from uni. He was pretty much a B and C student. He says he was just a little lazy with his schoolwork at times. He’s so well read though, and can engage in conversation about nearly anything. I love that about him.

Post # 231
Member
98 posts
Worker bee

I have masters and he had a bachelors in the same field, which we both had before we met. education and smarts are both very important to us.

Post # 232
Member
98 posts
Worker bee

My last ex had barely a hS degree and it was an issue. I enjoyed more intellectual pursuits, reading, museums, etx and he didnt. 

Post # 233
Member
2432 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

View original reply
@Syzygy88:  Don’t mean to thread-jack, but I was so shocked the first time he said that! He has a degree in communication, so it would be easy for him to find something part-time on evenings or weekends to supplement our income if we needed it. He’s so looking forward to me finishing up and us having kids — he’s a big kid at heart, so I know they won’t have to twist his arm to go to the playground, bounce house, movies, etc. 

Post # 234
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

Huge gap! Fiance has a BA, I will have a PhD. However, we are very closely matched in terms of intelligence. I haven’t read all the comments here, but I’m willing to bet that being closely matched in terms of IQ is a lot more important than being matched in terms of qualifications.

For example, my father has a PhD, among other things, and my mother has an MA, among other things. However, my father is a lot more intelligent than my mother. When their marriage broke down, my father remarried a woman who had left school at 17 (she eventually returned to retrain as a solicitor, but she has nowhere near the qualifications my mother has). Their relationship has been very successful, and I think the fact that my stepmother has a more similar IQ to my father has helped with this.

I don’t mean to sound cruel here… just stating a fact. I should also say that I don’t think that IQ is necessarily a good measure of intelligence for all sorts of reasons. However, I’m using it here as shorthand so that people can follow my train of thought!

Post # 235
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
@MrsEdamame:  That’s so sweet ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s nice to know other couples are doing similar.

Post # 236
Member
1768 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1997

@MrsPanda99:  no, we both have Bachelors degrees. He’s smarter though!.

Post # 237
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

We do have an education gap, but I have never seen it as an issue. I have a MAEd and a BA, whereas my husband didn’t do anything after finishing the required 12 years of school in NZ. He could have gone and done year 13 and then gone on to higher ed, but he hated school. He did do a short term program in carpentry and got his truck driver’s licensing done. So where I went more intellectual, he went more practical in his learning. I don’t really see it as a problem and don’t feel like I’m smarter than he is. We just have our different strengths. It should be interesting when we have kids since we come from very different learning backgrounds.

Post # 238
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We have a gap. My Fiance has a masters in Mechanical Engineering and I only have an Associates right now, I’m a Registered Nurse. I make a good living though and honestly I think we balance each other out well…he is very book smart while I have a lot of common sense. I’m smart as well, but our interests are just in very different things. He starts talking about engineering crap and I completely zone out, haha. I don’t know if I will ever get my masters in nursing, but I plan to get my Bachelors soon, so at least the gap will be less!

Post # 239
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

We both have a BSc, mine is in psychology and his is in biochemistry. I’m about to get my PCGE (post graduate certificate in education) and become a qualified teacher. In 3 years time he will have a PhD in cancer research.

๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 240
Member
1517 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My first husband and I had a huge gap. It was one of the main things that resulted in our divorce. It’s very hard when someone is educated and the other is not. It just doesn’t seem to work because you are usually on different levels, have different type jobs and associate with different people. My new hubby and I both have Master’s degrees and it’s a world of different from the first marriage. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 241
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I have a Master’s in Urban Education, and my fiance never finished college. He got maybe halfway through before we met, and had to come home from college to take care of his mom when she got sick, and his stepdad was in Afghanistan. I understand why he left, so it’s no problem to me. When we started dating, I was finishing up my master’s, and he was trying to go back to school in the city. It’s just not his thing. He’s so smart (he knew what a tittle was one night at trivia, and I’m an English teacher and had no clue) and he challenges me mentally. It never comes up between us or among my family. The only people I could see even caring about it are my professional associates who don’t know us very well, or my elitist girlfriends who have a “list” for their ideal mates (they’re still single btw). lol. It’s not like he can’t ever go back when or if he wants to. When it comes to things like this, those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter. 

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