(Closed) Do you and your SO go to bed together at the same time?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you and your partner go to bed at the same time?
    Yes - all the time : (129 votes)
    52 %
    No - we go to bed at different times : (21 votes)
    9 %
    Sometimes : (86 votes)
    35 %
    We don't live together. : (10 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    1548 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    No, we usually don’t go to sleep at the same time. I wake up much earlier to go to the gym and he likes to stay up late. I’d say maybe once or twice a week (usually weekends) we go to bed at the same time. 

    Post # 4
    4930 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    We don’t live together, but when we spend the night together, we go to bed at the same time. There’s only been once or twice that we haven’t, and that was just because I fell asleep in the bed while he was doing something on his computer. 

    Post # 5
    413 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    We usually do – gotta get those cuddles in 😉 I usually take longer to fall asleep.

    Post # 6
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    We go to bed together and get up at the same time 95% of the time during the week. It just works out well with our schedules, and I stay up a little bit later to make it happen. I think it is nice.

    Weekends, it is a little more up in the air. If Fiance wants to stay up past 11, I’m not going to force myself to stay up that late. And he likes to sleep in on weekends, I’m usually up by 8.

    Not that you asked, but part of it could be that your shpeel is happening when he is dozing off. No one likes being woken up and usually is more grumpy then.

    What if you start earlier in the evening? “Hey babe, I was thinking we could go to bed a little early and snuggle tonight, wink wink” and be sort of obvious and sexy about it? Better to try to win them over with honey!

    Post # 7
    2419 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    It depends. This past weekend I was sick, so I didn’t argue about going to bed at 8:30. Normally, I can’t sleep that early. But, SO has to get up for work at 4 a.m. so I don’t like to keep him up any longer than I need to. Sometimes I will go in and cuddle with him until he falls asleep and then go back to the livingroom to watch tv.

    Post # 8
    4272 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Not always no.

    Post # 9
    2183 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

    I think your fiance was being a bit of a poopy-head, but we can all be poopy-heads when we’re sleepy.

    It’s more important to me than my husband to go to bed at the same time. To me, I value the cuddles and chatting time before falling asleep. To him, the day is too short, so if one of us isn’t tired, that one should stay up and watch TV or do whatever. He views it as alone time.

    If one of us falls asleep on the couch, though, we have express orders to drag his/her butt to bed. I left my husband downstairs once and didn’t hear the end of it for weeks.

    I’d say 4-5 nights out of the week we go to bed at the same time. 

    Post # 10
    595 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Most of the time we go to bed at the same time.  There are times when he stays up later than me but its almost never the other way around.

    Post # 11
    2103 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    We do not go to bed at the same time…I hate when we do because it’s hard for me to fall asleep when he’s there beside me…breathing. LOL. Once I’m asleep, I can sleep through anything, but I have a hard time falling asleep if there are distractions.

    He actually usually sleeps on the futon in his office. He stays up a lot later than I do, and he’s a super light sleeper. Our dogs sleep in the bedroom with us and just them licking their paws will wake him, so he prefers to sleep alone. It used to bother me, but now when he’s in MY bed, I get cranky.

    Post # 12
    16195 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Since we’ve been married/living together, we’ve always gone to bed at the same time. It’s something we enjoy doing. I’m sure that could change at some point in time in the future.

    Post # 13
    7770 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Always.  I can’t go to sleep unless he is going to sleep with me, and even then he is out like a light before I am!

    Post # 14
    1846 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We do on weekends, and about 50% of the time on weekdays. If we don’t, it’s because I’ve gone to bed to read, and he’s staying up to watch a move or some other thing. 


    I don’t think that was a nice thing to say regardless if he was tired or not.. However, I also don’t think I’d like if someone made me move every night when I fell asleep. Still no excusable, he shouldn’t have said that.

    Post # 15
    1425 posts
    Bumble bee

    @bretonvirgniia:  No, usually not.  I like to go to bed earlier, Darling Husband likes to stay up.  Sometimes we do, though.

    I would chalk up his comment to the tiredness and cranky.  I might bring it up and let him know it hurt you and explain to him what you said here.  He’ll probably apologize, feel like a dope and cuddle with you tonight.  🙂


    Post # 16
    7311 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    Yep, every night we go to bed together. Mr. LK often falls asleep on the couch, but he is a very light sleeper so he wakes up when I start doing the last bit of our nightly chores. Then he’ll do his share of the final nightly chores, we take our vitamins together, and then we head upstairs to bed.

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