(Closed) Do you and your SO "hang out" with someone of the opposite sex?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you and your SO "hang out" with someone of the opposite sex? Read more: http://boards.weddingbee

    Yes, we hang out with people of the opposite sex, and it's never been a problem.

    Yes, we do hang out with people of the opposite sex, and it's been an issue.

    No, we do not, but I would consider it.

    Oh HECK NO! We do not and will not.

    Other, and I'll explain...

  • Post # 107
    Member
    1161 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @thisbeeisanon:  I have, but only with people we trust. If I were to hang out with say a mutual male friend for the day, he wouldn’t be phazed. Just like if he hung out with one of our female friends or even my best friend alone all weekend long I wouldn’t be phazed.

    The only time I would mind if it were a girl I hadn’t met before, I didn’t know well or if I particularly didn’t like her. So, If he wants to spend the day with his sisters friend? That’s a no-no. Hang out with his best man’s girlfriend? That’s a nana! (yes)

    On the same note I wouldn’t go out for a day with a man Fiance hadn’t met or wasn’t comfortable with. But Ive spent a day from dawn till dusk with his best man alone, and with my best friends Fiance, but he knows them both well and there’s not a hint of a microscopic spark around.

    Post # 108
    Member
    1344 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church

    My best friend is male and his best friend is female. I’ve been out to Seattle alone to visit my male best friend and up to NYC alone to visit another male friend, and he regularly spends alone time with his best friend up in his hometown an hour and a half away. It’s really nbd at all — we trust each other that these are friendships only and that’s that.

    I can’t understand this rabid distaste for opposite sex friendships. It completely mystifies me.

    Post # 109
    Member
    1341 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    @thisbeeisanon:  I personally would not have a problem, especially if it was one of my friends. I trust my SO and I trust my friends – if I have no trust, then I have nothing to base the relationship on. There are things I don’t want to do, and if he wanted to go with them to do it, why not? Same with me, there are things I want to do that he doesn’t and if one of his friends wanted to go, why not?

    Not to mention, your friend is married and it’s one of YOUR friends. Not one of his friends. I think maybe I might be concerned a teeny bit if it were one of HIS friends and they were single.

    Post # 110
    Member
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I’m in a male dominated field… DH is in a female dominated field… So no I have no issues. I trust him and he trusts me. Some of my closest friends are guys!!!

    Post # 111
    Member
    240 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Hired hall

    My Fiance and I hang out with people of the opposite sex all the time, especially me as 90% of my friends are guys (I grew up mostly hanging out with my older brothers and their friends, so have always found it easier to make friends with guys than with girls). However, we met because we hung out in the same friendship circle, so all of these friends are good friends with both of us and not just one of us, so there is more of a “freedom” there I guess, as we all know each other so well it’s not an issue as nothing would concievably ever happen. It all depends upon the couple and the circumstances of their friendships really 🙂

    Post # 112
    Member
    722 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    View original reply
    @MsW-to-MrsM:  1+, its not a trust thing. its the fact that neither of us have ever had an opposite sex friendship that didn’t have one of the people liking the other.

    Post # 112
    Member
    24 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2014

     

    thisbeeisanon:  i’ve been having conversations with work friends about this lately.  One coworker says that she hangs out w/ her ex boyfriends /other guys and she would never be with someone who told her they didnt want her to, and that if I try to control my FH that I deserve all the dynamics that come along with it (she’s been married for a few years).  I countered to her that I would never want to hang out with my exes, and that I would never want to be with someone who wanted to hang out with theirs (unless there was a long standing friendship or w/e on a case by case basis.)  I would definitely not be comfortable if my guy went on a day long excursion w/ another woman (and he wouldn’t be ok with it the other way around either!).  If your guy didn’t think it might be a little weird, he probably wouldn’t have asked you if you would be comfortable with it.  So moral of the story is, different boundaries work for different people, and it seems like you guys are probably on the same page (vs a couple like my coworker and her hubby).  If it’s bothering you, maybe bring it up with him and see how he felt about you saying you didn’t like the idea, and if I were a betting woman I’d put money on him saying he wouldn’t really like it if it was flipped around, and wasn’t at all bothered by your response when he asked 🙂

    Post # 113
    Member
    1609 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    View original reply
    thisbeeisanon:  My Fiance has 2 really good friends who are female. We met through one of them actually.  I trust him that nothing is happening with either of them.  In fact the one we met through is married with a baby on the way. She has a lot of male friends she sees one on one.

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