(Closed) Do you and/or your FI/spouse keep in touch with exes?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m still remotely in touch with a couple of my high school boyfriends… every 3-6 months we’ll talk on Facebook or something. But most of them I haven’t spoken to in years. 

As far as I know Fiance isn’t in contact with any of his exes (doesn’t wanna be, haha). He has fewer serious exes as well though. No one that he’d want to stay friends with. 

Post # 18
Member
5091 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I’m Facebook friends with several and wouldn’t mind meeting up for lunch with a few of them if they happened to be in town.  In the spring, I also work with one of them, and he’s in the same wide group of friends, so I see him fairly frequently.  We don’t really talk any more than just sharing pleasantries, though.

I think Darling Husband is Facebook friends with some of them, but he wouldn’t seek out meeting with them.  He’s also BFFs with a girl he had the BIGGEST crush on for several years, but that’s all completely gone now.  She’s been dating his best friend for a few years, and she was also a bridesmaid at our wedding.

Post # 19
Member
3415 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

I keep in touch with one ex by choice.  He’s a very good friend now and married to someone.  They live in Seattle and he and I will come across each other now and then on the internet (facebook, hotmail chat or whatever).  We’ll catch up and talk every couple days for maybe a week and then won’t talk to each other again for like years.  My Fiance doesn’t like that this ex and I are good friends but I just tell him there are no feelings like that for him anymore, he’s just someone I care for as a friend and that’s it.

I have another ex that we run into each other not by choice.  He and I have mutual friends.  I try to stay friendly with him when we are around each other but honestly I’d like to punch him in the face. 

My Fiance doesn’t think exes can be friends once they break up.  I have a different mindset though.  I think that just because 2 people didn’t work out as a couple doesn’t mean they can’t be friends.  I don’t even think about my ex that I’m friends with in a sexual way.  I don’t even think about our relationship when I talk to him, I just view him as a great guy who I’m friends with, just like any other guy friend.

It’s all a personal opinion though.  Some people can’t get past the hurt or whatever.  For me it depends on how the relationship was, was it toxic and violent (like fighting all the time not abusive violent) or was it just “they aren’t the right person for me”.

Post # 20
Member
2417 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I have no contact with my only ex. I think it is best that way as I’m sure if we would see each other, it would not end well.

SO on the other hand is sort of friends with a girl he used to like. It irritates me because she doesn’t really make much of an effort to be friends with me which makes me feel like she is hiding something from me. But whatever.

Post # 21
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

No – and that goes for both of us.

We are lucky to have no ties. Post break up – there are no longer any mutual friends. I think his ex does live close enough that we could potentially run into her if we ventured out of our little local area, but so far so good. 😉 It’s really nice to just not have to think about that person ever again.

Post # 22
Member
6739 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

95% no.  I’m still FB friends with my first boyfriend and we play catch up every like year through gchat, I’m still FB friends with some of the guys I dated but not seriously and we also play catch up every so often.  But, my 2 major relationships – 1 of them, I’m not friends with anymore for many, many reasons – and the other, the ex right before my Fiance, I realized while we were dating that we were just dating and not friends and there was no reason to try to be friends with him, it was hurtful for me and it would have been hurtful to my Fiance.  So I ended that “friendship,” as well. 

Post # 23
Member
846 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

i kept in touch with some of my exes just through texting and stuff for a few years until i met my Fiance. now i just feel no reason to even have them as friends anymore, and i know my fiancé would be a little uncomfortable with it anyway. he also doesn’t have contact with any of his exes and i’m truly happy that neither of us do. it feels good to totally let go of the past and focus on our future.. and remember the fact that they are exes for a reason! 

Post # 24
Member
9982 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Minimally.  We both have sons (now college students) so some communication with our exes is unavoidable.  But friendships with exes?  Nope, neither of us.

Post # 25
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

No contact with our exes at all.

Post # 26
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

no, we never speak and he doesn’t speak to his ex, either. 

Post # 27
Member
2780 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My Fiance does not comunicate with any exes in any way, not fb friends or anything. I only remained in contact with any exes from “relationships that don’t count”, so high school exes where we had friendships prior and after the relationship. 

I am not friends with any exes after high school where the relationships tended to be more serious. I’m also not friends or in contact with any exes where their only basis in my life was solely from our dating. If I wasn’t friends before the relationship and they weren’t part of my social circle before or after, then I no longer have contact. 

I don’t believe you can be friends with an ex until first cutting all contact until both parties are completely over the relationship, so more often then not, those that were never a part of my social circle except for when they were dating me, no contact was ever re-established. And I would find it weird to suddenly start contacting them.

ETA: those few exes I’m still in contact with, I only ever see when the whole group from high school get together, which is mostly only for things like weddings or funerals. Otherwise I don’t really have much contact with them.

Post # 28
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

No thanks

Post # 29
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee

No. They weren’t just bad partners, they were bad friends. There’s a reason we left them and didn’t keep contact.

Post # 30
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My best friend is an ex of mine, we were dated for around a year but this was over ten years ago.  FI isn’t jealous and in fact thinks it’s funny that we ever dated in the first place because we were clearly ment to be best friends.  

I am still in contact with my most recent ex, we were together for 5 years. However we aren’t super friendly or anything we are facebook friends and text each other once a year to wish the other a happy birthday.  I think Fiance may be a little jealous but the ex lives across the country so she knows there is nothing to worry about and I always tell Fiance when we text.

Post # 31
Member
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

I occasionally talk to my high school boyfriend. One of my exs and I were good friends before we dated but didn’t click romantically and split on good terms. He’s still one of my best friends. Another ex I’d known since childhood and we also split on good terms so we still keep in touch. He and Darling Husband get along very well. Darling Husband doesn’t talk to his exs at all.

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