(Closed) Do you and/or your FI/spouse keep in touch with exes?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 47
Member
4323 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

I do, he doesn’t. Each of us chose that arrangement, and it works for us as individuals. If he would have been friendly with any of his exes when we met, cool. But he wasn’t. I was friendly with a few of my exes when I met Darling Husband, and he’s ok with that.

Post # 48
Member
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

We are both in contact with an ex or two.  My best friend from the second grade and I dated for a short period of time in high school… he’s still my best friend is going to be my Maid/Matron of Honor.  Fiance is in regular contact with his first fiance and it’s all good ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 49
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Yup, we do.  Not like the closest contact of all, but we both talk to them and we might go for a coffee or something like once a year.  But 2 of my exes and one of his were at our wedding..

Post # 50
Member
5373 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

We only have one ex each and both of our past relationships only lasted about a month…so nope. Haha, we don’t bother keeping in touch.

Post # 51
Member
3172 posts
Sugar bee

Nope

Post # 52
Member
1314 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

A phone call between me and my two exes every now and again, and we have some contact on FB. He doesn’t at all. He only had one serious girlfriend, and she still wants him, as proven by some of her text messages (whole nother talk show). Honestly, If things are appropriate, I don’t see a problem. Meaning, don’t say anything to them that you can’t share with me. If everything it on the up and up, I don’t see a problem. My exes are a part of me. They groomed me for the man I was meant to be with. I silently thank them daily for screwing up our relationship ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 53
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

FH has minimal contact with his ex and that’s his choice. Whereas I’m on good terms with all of my exes so we still keep in touch by email and chat. And I meet up with them if I’m in town and has free time. FH doesn’t mind, I think….

 

Post # 54
Member
17 posts
Newbee

Ummm, hell no. My relationships have all ended badly and it’s easiest and best to cut ties. Out of respect for my boyfriend, I would not keep in contact with any of them. It doesn’t have anything to do with trust, it’s more so that I shared my life with this person, and its awkward  to continue any sort of relationship on. To me, it serves no point. My bf does not speak to his exes either. His break ups were more amicable than mine, but I don’t want some girl in my or his life who is intimately familiar with his man parts. If he came to me and said he was going to lunch with his ex, I would laugh in his face and know he must be out of his mind to ask ๐Ÿ™‚ Bitches be crazy. 

Post # 55
Member
4581 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Darling Husband and I each only had one serious relationship prior to getting together. He has no contact at all with his ex. I keep in touch with mine via facebook and we see each other in person once every year or two.

Post # 56
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

One of my exes is one of my bridesmaids, actually!  lol.  But no, I do not keep in touch with most of my former boyfriends/girlfriends.  The one I consider an actual “ex”, like someone who I invested a LOT of time and effort in, I do not keep in touch with.  My fiance is facebook friends with his ex, and they post on each other’s walls sometimes.  She came to visit once with her husband.  She’s a little nuts!  But nice.

Post # 57
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Nope, not at all. Our exes are part of the past for a reason.

Post # 58
Member
1291 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

PRIOR to my relationship with my fiance, I always kept in contact with exes regardless of being with someone new. Going out for lunch, phone calls, emails, etc. Maybe flirtations now and then. Innocent but you know… I was always one to keep my options open.

When I got together with my fiance, I stopped seeing any of my exes in person but maybe kept in touch via Facebook or text message.  Then about a year ago, two years into the relationship, I just stopped responding to their text messages. Not to be mean, we just kinda grew apart and I grew up a little and realized I didn’t need to be friends with my exes just for the sake of being friends.  Actually one of my exes, whom I only broke up with because long distance wasn’t working anymore, text messaged me the other day and was SUPER flirty and crossed a line. I’m mad at him and don’t want to talk to him again.

Maybe once or twice a year, my fiance’s several ex girlfriends hit him up with emails/Facebook messages just seeing how he is doing. Half the time he ignores them or just writes friendly messages back but leaves it at that. We ran into his crazy ex (the one before me) at the mall once and he just looked at her and ignored her. It was shocking but I’m glad he didn’t go up to her.

Post # 59
Member
9951 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Pretty much NO

My Ex Husband was abusive… the day we Divorced, I walked out of the courtroom, and never looked back.  (He wanted to have contact with me, both asking thru my lawyer to talk to me after all was said & done, and later by sending me letters etc … and I refused it).

Mr TTR and his Ex Wife have virtually no contact.  He and her both live in the same city… but they never run into each other (it is a big city).  Occasionally there will be something that comes up with the Kids, even tho they are grown adults (say one gets seriously ill) then there might be a phone call or email between the two of them… but more often than not the communications are solely via the kids.

I’d say Mr TTR is respectful of his Ex Wife… but he certainly has no interest in any sort of social relationship with her.

Before Mr TTR and I dated, he had a long term Girlfriend.  She dumped him pretty dramatically… (not nicely).  She lives in the same part of the city as we do… and they’ve run into each other once in awhile… or I should properly say… they’ve been in the same place.  She sees Mr TTR and high-tales it out of wherever she is… she obviously is embarrassed by the fact that she knows she acted towards him inappropriately.

So there is NO CHANCE of that relationship being salvaged.

Mr TTR and I have chatted about this in the past… and we both agree that Exes are Exes for a reason.

There is no point keeping them around, they only bring up bad memories… and more often than not those that do have them in their lives have MORE DRAMA than either of us are willing to put up with at this point in our lives (over 50)… DRAMA seems to be something older people shy away from. 

And I am a big believer in that when people keep that connection going with an Ex it is because more often than not it is because one of them hasn’t gotten over the break up and is HOPING that they’ll get back together.

So… ya, NO THANKS

 

Post # 60
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

NO NO NO. I had to change my phone number to stop the nasty voice mails that I got every time there was an issue with one of our ADULT children. He does not know I am remarried and I have been painstaking in keeping it quiet, because my oldest son had to move back home with him.

My new husband doesn’t have any contact either.

We recently had a discussion about what we would do if our exes were seriously ill or passed away especially when your ex is the father of your children.

Thoughts? Another twist to this thread, not trying to be morbid. I tend to think in terms of -what will I do if…………

Post # 61
Member
1733 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We have lunch with my husband’s ex and her husband about once a year when we’re home for the holidays, and are Facebook friends with both of them. They’re nice folks. The breakup between me and my major ex was a bit more complicated, but he and my family stayed close. Things are still a little weird between us, but since it’s almost a decade since we were together, it’s OK. He helps out my aging parents out around the house and yard, and they have dinner together about once a month.

So in short…yes. ๐Ÿ™‚

 

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