(Closed) Do you bargain, bribe, or barter with your SO often?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you bargain, bribe, or barter with your SO to get your way?
    Yes. All the time! : (11 votes)
    20 %
    No. We do whatever we want. : (22 votes)
    40 %
    Sometimes. It depends on what I want... : (22 votes)
    40 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1251 posts
    Bumble bee

    We are really laid back and casual, so none of the following is like, SERIOUS BUSINESS in our relationship.

    We “barter” pretty frequently. We have a golf clubs for purses policy, because he complained all the time about how many purses I have, but each on of his golf clubs cost as much, if not more than each one of my purses. So now, whenever he gets a new club, I get a new purse, or maybe a pair of shoes, if I want. Granted, we both buy these for ourselves, but it’s just a way of being equally rational with money.

    Most of my halves of the barters tend to be “I’ll love you forever if you…”, so it’s mostly just him being nice.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    i voted no, i never bargin or bribe my husband and same with him to me.   there is no way in heck am i going to say “oh honeyyyyyyyyyy,  if you let me go to the day spa i will buy you a new whatever”.   it will be a cold day in hell when i resort to that

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    5494 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I tried this bargaining system with Fiance once and he flipped out on me and told me that he felt like he was being manipulated and was not cool with it at all.  So no I never try to do this anymore.  We just try to make sure that we both get to have our way an equal amount and try to be considerate of the other.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4162 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We don’t bargin or barter, but sounds like a good idea! lol!!  Fiance makes 3 times as much as I do, and I don’t care what he spends his money on.  He’s very generous  and though we have worked out paying the mortgage/bills based on what we can afford, I don’t feel the need to have to have everything be equal.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1046 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Hmm, I don’t think we’ve *ever* done this. One of us just usually aggrees to do something. We both know what chores each one of hates doing, so we try to split things up so we’re both happy. I guess we also don’t think in terms of whether the other person “lets” us do something or not–we try to find arrangements that we’re both happy with.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1995 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    i can honestly say we’ve never done this.  usually just asking will get it done.  more than not we’ll offer to do something for the other.

    Post # 9
    Member
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I tried this bargaining system with Fiance once

    my hubby thrives on verbal positive praise – he picks up his dirty clothes off the floor and puts it in the laundry, i tell him how much i appreciate it and it means alot to me that he did that and he repeats.    win win for both of us without bribing

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    273 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    We do it all the time…so much it has become a playful sport for him to get his way.

    FOR EXAMPLE: A girl I work with is a newly-wed and her husband is a total hoot. One day she comes home to her husband telling her they have a new “house rule”. He had stolen all of her panties and tells her she will have to “earn” them back.

    I thought it was a hilarious bargaining game and told my Fiance about it. Unfortunately, it has backfired on me and we have a similar bargaining tool in use at our home now Wink

    Post # 11
    Member
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    We’ll occasionally bargain with each other, but it’s completely in jest.

    Post # 12
    Member
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    We do it in fun, and certainly not often. Kind of like “if we go to your fav restaurant tonight, _____.” Not chores really or big money spending things. Only little decisions.

    I do find it a little silly over the whole EVERY TIME the dog has to go out… It would get super redundant to us.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1995 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @eloping: exactly what I do!!

    Post # 14
    Member
    1932 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2008

    I don’t think this is a very healthy habit to form necessarily. I think that marriage is about sacrifice and being selfless with each other, and doing things you don’t necessarily want to do.

    I guess I do this a little though, generally when I want to buy a new sweater or something like that because my husband tends to be a penny saver, which isn’t a bad thing, and has a fit whenever I want new clothes 🙂 But generally if one of us wants something, we learn to compromise. I don’t like doing the dishes at all, so my husband agreed that he’ll wash the dishes the majority of the time, but my husband hates chores, so I’ll do the majority of the chores etc.. 

    I don’t think you should have things be so conditional, “I’ll do this if you do this”- I start to wonder, where is the unconditional love we promised each other?

    Post # 15
    Member
    1986 posts
    Buzzing bee

    We do it, I never noticed how often though. It’s not like, if he doesn’t do the thing I don’t do it anyway or whatever, it’s more just a way to let him know something needs done or I want something and we have to figure out where the fundage is coming for it 🙂 And its fun 🙂

    Post # 16
    Member
    5494 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @eloping:  Yup this is what I do now.  The bargaining incident was way in the begining of our relationship.  I’ve become much more wiser now, (and have read many more relationship and animal psychology books hehehe)

    The topic ‘Do you bargain, bribe, or barter with your SO often?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors