- 5 years ago
What do you mean? The fact of getting engaged or the proposal? I think that the couple should discuss if they are on the same emotional page and at the same point of the relationship. As for the proposal, again, communication. The person being proposed to should state their preferences, whether they want a public, private, in front of family… But the actual proposal should be a surpirise. Just my thoughts
I really don’t think the plan to become married should be a surprise, at all. If my Fiance proposed to me before we ever discussed a future together, I would have questioned his judgment heavily.
If you’re talking about the actual ACT of the proposal, as in, what day it will happen and how, then I’m ok with THAT being a surprise. I told my Fiance long ago when we were discussing marriage that I would heavily dislike a public proposal. This still kept it a secret as to when and how, and I got my private proposal :).
For me, definitely discussed. Not the proposal so much but definitely the plan to get engaged.
It depends on the couple. Some people are fine with agreeing they are engaged without a proposal. Some women like the traditional proposal where it’s a total surprise and there are other women who like any and everything in between.
but everyone should discuss where they think the relationship is going and if they will get married and when. The engagement should definitely be discussed beforehand. The proposal and the engagement itself are separate in my mind.
After my Fiance and I decided to get married we discussed the proposal in general terms. He said he’d prefer to do the traditional thing and propose himself in the next few months. I said I’d prefer a more private proposal. The proposal he devised was a total surprise and completely private and romantic.
Sorry I wasn’t clear! I mean talk about getting engaged and even down to picking a ring.
Proposals can be a surprise. Engagements should be discussed.
I believe in couples doing what works for them.
The idea of getting married should be discussed beforehand but the proposal really deepends on the couple
I agree – engagement discussed, this doesn’t stop the proposal being a surprise. My Fiance tried to keep it a secret but I guessed correctly! He also knew I wanted to pick my own ring so had a stand-in (family ring he’d borrowed from his mum) to propose with and we went to choose mine the next day.
Not the proposal itself, but possible engagement/marriage – yes, definitely
I’m another one for a definite discussion about marriage in general and rough timelines of engagement expectation if marriage is on the cards for both parties.
My Fiance and I talked about marriage in general really early on and knew we were roughly on the same page, later down the line we got in to our wedding talk and engagement. Fiance really wanted me to have a ring that I loved and for that to be the one he proposed with, so we ring shopped together, but he kept the ring hidden and the proposal was a surprise =)
Whatever works for the couple and their families (mostly the couple lol).
A discussion about the future should be had, so you both know marriage would be a next step. Once that’s established, then I’m on the side of “let the guy surprise you” lol. Ive had women say its almost like a right of passage for a guy, its one of the biggest and most important questions he will ever ask, so let them take the reigns and surprise you. But in our society, a lot of women are choosing their own rings with input from the guy and having the actual proposal be the surprise, which is perfectly normal too! Our generation is certainly shaking up what used to be considered the norm, and proposals and engagements should be what is right for the couple, not what everyone else thinks is right
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